Showing posts with label The Roles We Play. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The Roles We Play. Show all posts

Wednesday, October 7, 2015

See You As You Are

  

The Roles We Play
A Donovan's Door Collection
 
Feeling flush with accomplishment and the alcohol’s warm, soothing effect, Hayato mixed himself a little something. See, he thought as he took another deep and satisfied sip, this socializing thing wasn’t all that hard. He didn’t need Peter to have a good time. He’d done just fine on his own.

He turned, when he felt a tap on his shoulder, just in time to avoid the crowd of conga-ing costumers gyrating to some oddly mixed song that sounded strangely like French reggae. Stumbling a bit as a few of the line’s more enthusiastic — if not most coordinated — members bumped into him, Hayato felt a pair of hands cup his, steadying him and his now sloshing glass.

“Careful.”

He secured his grip on his glass as he looked up to see the costumed Zatanna in front of him, her blue eyes smiling — maybe even laughing — at him. The curve of her darkly painted lips seemed somewhere between a smirk and an invitation. Hayato pondered which it could be even as his gaze slipped south, idly tracing the deep vee of her pearl white vest that — while not exactly canon-accurate — lay tantalizingly tight over black lace-covered breasts.

“Mix me a potion?” she asked, calling his gaze back up to her grinning face.

“Sorry,” he mumbled over the loud, culturally eclectic music, blushing at how he’d been caught ogling, as he set his glass aside and wiped his wet hand against his jeans. Maybe that was enough intoxication tonight.

She just continued smiling, seeming oddly and mysteriously omniscient. “Make me a drink?” 

“Uh, sure,” he said, flustered by that gaze. Not knowing what else to do, he turned to start mixing again. His neck prickled as he felt her watch him, her gaze assessing while he grabbed and combined this and that. At first, he thought that she was judging the drink but, the more he mixed, he didn’t think so. 

She was watching him. Not his hands, as the others had, trying to figure out formulas and recipes. She was watching him. The whole of him. And waiting. For something. Something Hayato couldn’t even begin to guess at. 

It was as if she knew him. As if, with so much familiarity from her, he really ought to know her. 

But he didn’t think he did. 

He was sure he would remember a girl like her. With clever, blue eyes that shone sharply with thoughts he could see but not decipher. Like him, she had a very angular face, sculpted in shapes that should have seemed wrong but somehow, together, were stunning. Riding that line between gaunt and gorgeous, the sharp planes of her nose and cheeks, her brow and chin, were as alien as they were alluring. 

Long, dark curls framed her face and flowed down her back and over her shoulders, caressing her body as she leaned against the counter. 
Though he tried — so very hard — not to, his eyes kept drifting to her breasts that were now propped up on her forearms as she rested against the back of a chair. He wondered if she’d done that on purpose. If her arms, that encased and displayed, were a deliberate attempt to draw his gaze down. Judging by her knowing grin, he thought yes.

“Hayato,” she said, tilting her head as he handed her the drink concoction — some grab-bag of booze that he couldn’t have recreated to save his life, “right?”

He looked up a little sheepishly. 

So she did know him.

He nodded, unsure if it was ruder to ask for her name now or pretend like he knew it. Not much for names, he didn’t normally pay much attention, if he could help it. He always figured that sort of thing tended to work itself out in the normal run of things, linking memory and importance in a completely organic way. 

And, looking her over again — Hayato was almost sure — if he’d once known this girl’s name, he would have made a point of remembering it.

“Halloween is the best time of year, isn’t it?” the magician continued, leaning a bit more forward on the chair to reveal the deep vee of her cleavage.

Those pale, round breasts were beautiful, rising — just a bit — with every breath as they pushed against the tight fabric of her vest. He knew it was rude to stare but, try as he might, he couldn’t look at her without staring. “Sure,” he said on a deep swallow as he forced his gaze to focus on hers.

“There’s magic in the air this time of year,” she said breezily, even while studying him as if she could read his every thought, as if she could witch out exactly where his mind had drifted. “One night a year, we all get a chance to be someone else. To be something else.”

Hayato thought about that. About the magic in not being yourself.
Except he liked himself. 

He was honors pre-law at the college of his choice. He’d been on the Dean’s List every semester. He was a National Merit Scholarship Winner, a National Collegiate Scholar, and the youngest member of an elite study group for law students. 

He was on track. He’d been preparing for this, working his ass off, for as long as he could remember. Why would he want to give that up, even if just for one night? 

“With a little makeup and a wig,” she mused, “you can step out of your life and into one of your own imagining. With just a wardrobe change, it’s like being given license to do all the things you normally wouldn’t. It’s like identity alchemy.”

Hayato nodded and shrugged, not really sure what to say. To be honest, Hayato hadn’t had all that much experience with girls outside a classroom. Mostly fumbled fits made in library reading nooks or someone’s dorm room bunk bed. And, while he’d certainly enjoyed himself and — God, he hoped — they’d enjoyed themselves, he wasn’t altogether certain he’d even know what to do with a girl like the magician, who was almost too pretty to look at, much less touch.
“You just can’t beat that,” she sighed almost wistfully.

Not that he was planning to touch her or anything. Hoping, sure. Fantasizing, oh yeah. But she’d only asked him to make her a drink. She was a sorority sorceress and he was an undergrad in a secondhand hat; he couldn’t even imagine what she would want with him beyond a little bartending.

He watched as she tipped the red solo cup back, draining the “Love Potion #9” in one long drink. Even over the party’s strange soundtrack of German punk rock, he heard the definitive crunch of the cup’s plastic as she all but slammed it back on the table. “I want to show you something,” she told him, her face a bit tight but determined. “Upstairs.”

He blinked. Upstairs? “What?” he asked blankly, sure he’d heard her wrong.

“Magic,” she told him, answering a question he hadn’t actually asked but was pretty sure he liked the answer to. “I want to show you some magic.” 

Hayato had to blink for a moment, his brain adjusting to hearing the vaguely porno phrase outside the fantasy. It was weird. Even in the real world, the words sounded like fantasy. Scripted and a little stilted, she’d said them as if she didn’t really mean them.

He wondered what that meant.

Then she held out her hand to him, the gesture so much more convincing than the words.

His gaze swept over the long lengths of her legs, lifted and shaped by the tall heels on her feet, and up the swell of her slim hips. He swallowed hard at the way the tight vest clung to her waist, soft and sweetly curved, before framing — hugging — those breasts.

Meeting her pretty, blue eyes, he saw the briefest flicker in her gaze — a quick break in character. He reached out, that look making him take her hand. There was something so familiar in that look. An uncertainty that he knew well and wished she didn’t.

He watched that crack in her confidence close as her small hand gripped his, tugging him through the party crowd and up the stairs, and wondered why that would make him feel so much better. 

Hayato swallowed hard as the scent of booze, sweat, and over-stimulation struck him. Seeking that surety again, he held tight to her hand and focused on the magician as she snaked her way through the space, sometimes seeming little more than an arm almost swallowed by the mob and a bouncing top hat.

They wove through congested hallways, squeezing tight to couples who’d congregated in and out and around the bedrooms. Some of the doors were wide open, revealing rooms overflowing with too many conversations and even more people. Some doors were shut, quiet dens — pockets of conspicuous silence — or muffled murmurs — music or moans — hidden behind the wood and walls.

They stopped in front of a door, shut and silent. Hayato held his breath as she turned the knob. Letting his hand go, she stepped into the room, flicking on the light. She turned, a dramatic, almost dance-like pivot, with her hands spread in ta-da as she took off her hat in one smooth motion. Standing just inside its entrance, she looked at him, left lingering in the hallway. “Come in.” It was almost a command with just a trace of question touching the performance. 

He stepped into the room, the door shutting behind him. He gave a small laugh and shuffled a bit on her carpet as she reached into her hat. “Don’t tell me there’s a rabbit in there,” he said.

She pulled out a box of cards and waved them at him. “Much as I love a classic hat trick, pretty sure a bunny violates house rules,” she said as she sat down on one of the room’s beds.

“So you actually do magic?” he asked, a little impressed. He’d figured it was just a costume and a line.

“Of course,” she said, an obvious look on her face, as she gestured for him to join her on the crimson comforter covering her bed. “I told you, I’m a fan of magic.”

Hayato looked around what he assumed was her half of the room as he sat down. C.S. Lewis sat spine-bent and well-read next to Tolkien on her bedside. Tamora Pierce and Mercedes Lackey sat stacked on her shelves. Kelley Armstrong kept Kim Harrison company as their corners peeked out from under her bed. And strewn and stuck alongside all those were biographies of Houdini and David Copperfield and how-to books on classic illusions and close-up magic. They were everywhere, tucked away like treasures among her textbooks.

“So what are you going to do?” he asked, nodding to her as she shuffled the deck. “Do I pick a card, any card?”

“Mmm,” she said as she dealt out eight cards, four in front of him and four in front of her, “sort of.” With a flick of her hands, she shuffled the rest of the cards. “We’re going to play a game.”

A game? “Okay,” he said, even parts wary and intrigued. “What kind of game?”

She flipped the top card in the deck and flashed the eight of hearts. “Basic high card, low card,” she said. “Beat my card,” she said, flipping the next to reveal the jack of spades, “and I’ll take something off.”

He swallowed hard as his gaze shifted south. He liked those rules. “And if I don’t?” he asked.

“Then you do,” she answered simply.

That was a magic trick?

Looking at her, sitting cross-legged across from him, her soft thighs parted and her posture welcoming. 

Yeah, maybe it was a kind of magic. 

“Sure,” he agreed, shifting to mirror her position on the bed...


Check out this Donovan's Door Collection filled with stories that explores roles, identity, and pleasure.

Witness some of this series' favorite characters' first forays into kinks, from bondage to bargaining. Explore the thrilling joys and sometimes intense complexities of power dynamics, role play, and negotiating games in this collection of short stories.

Join these kinksters as they discover who they are, both within and together, both in-scene and out.

Available:

 

WANT MORE? 

FIND MORE STORIES HERE 

 



Friday, September 27, 2013

Plunder - Co-op Mode

Find Part One

PLUNDER

PART TWO - CO-OP MODE

Hayato felt better than he had in weeks. Even before the move, he’d felt like their stress-levels—both his and Max’s—had been too high. It was hard to feel sexual when you were too annoyed with the world to deal with anything. Hell, it was hard to feel friendly at that point.

No wonder Max had retreated into her game. It was an escape. From the move. From the world.

And, yeah, sure, from him. From all the expectations and the questions. Where should we put the couch? Do you want to buy a softer or firmer bed? Do you want to keep your coffeemaker or mine? Can we fit all our things in one closet or should someone take the downstairs one? Did you go grocery shopping or should I? There were a million little, mundane decisions that used to be easier and more routine when they lived apart that now needed to be discussed and adjusted for now that they were sharing a space and a life. It was just a lot at times.

But, after last night, he felt like they’d connected again. Like they’d gotten back a bit of the spark and fire they’d lost somewhere in the mess of the mundane. God, even now, the memory of her hands on her needy, supple form made his body heat and harden. With that old, profanely ratty college t-shirt no longer hiding her from his gaze, her pale, cream body had been a wonder, all swelling curves and silken skin. She’d been a sumptuous visual feast—the fullness of her breasts, the softness of her belly, the wide sweep of her hips, and her cotton-covered heat—that he would never get enough of. Just the sight of her at the height of her pleasure, of her delicious fall into ecstasy, was satisfying in a way he’d never experienced with anyone but her. Last night, as she lay in his arms replete and relaxed, he felt his world right itself again.

And, instead of waking up to either an exhausted, still asleep Max or, worse, an empty bed, he’d woken up to Max’s hand on his chest, slipping south. They’d made love once in bed and had to stop themselves from doing so again on the kitchen table before they made themselves even more late than they already were.

Already, he felt sharper, more on his game, more ready to take on the world, than he had in too long. He couldn’t wait until he got back home.

Maybe he’d forget that he owed her another half hour of game time.

Hopefully, she’d forget the game entirely.

She’d sent him a slightly racy message at noon. A photo of her sitting in panties and nothing else on their bed. Apparently, she’d taken the day off to set up some kind of special, sexy surprise.

He gripped the steering wheel of his car and pulled into their driveway. He couldn’t wait. Once inside, he stripped off his suit coat and tie and rushed upstairs.

An expectant smile spread across his face as he approached their bedroom. God, this was going to be good.

He stood in the doorway and looked in to find Max on their bed. Her beautiful, lush body was covered in nothing but pretty lace and satin panties, like sea foam, sinful on her skin.

Playing Plunder.

His eyes narrowed and his jaw tensed.

What the hell was this?

He watched her—body tensed and hunched—as she furiously typed. Her attention was fixed on the screen and she bit her lip in concentration.

With one last tap of her keyboard, her whole body relaxed. She let out a victorious whoop before turning to him. “Well,” she said, gesturing around her, “what do you think?”

This was her surprise?

She’d dragged the TV from the den and apparently hooked it up to connect to her computer downstairs. All so she could play Plunder in bed.

This was her surprise?

He stared at her smug smile. “Looks like I won’t be missing any curfew now, huh?”

He balked. “Are you fucking kidding me?”

———

Max leaned back in surprise.

He was mad.

That much was obvious. From the flaring of his nostrils. To the tightening of his fists. To the fire burning in the blue of his eyes. To the slash of color across his chiseled cheeks. Yeah, he was pissed.

The question was why?

Confused, she set aside her keyboard. It was a perfect solution. “This way I can play as long and late as I like and still make it to bed on-time.” She smiled wickedly. “And, when I’m done and all flush with victory, we could have a little fun of our own.” She’d wanted to kick herself for not thinking of it earlier. She could just imagine it. She could work or play on her computer, while he worked on his papers. Then, when they were both tired, they could fall asleep together, just like he wanted. He’d see; it was a perfect compromise.

He shut his eyes. Pressed his thumb and forefinger against the lids. “So you thought you’d lug all this up here, hook it all up, for my benefit?” He scoffed and rubbed his eyes. “This was all for me?” His head dropped back and he groaned. “Thanks, but no thanks.”

Max sat up straight, not liking the insulting tone in his voice. “What the hell does that mean?”

He dropped his arm dramatically. He narrowed his gaze at her incredulously. “Last night, we finally connected sexually again after weeks of distance because you’ve been so busy playing that game.” He began to pace. “And now, in response to that—after teasing me with the promise of a sexy surprise—you decided to bring the game into the bedroom.” He turned to her again. “And you say you did this for me?”

Well, when he put it like that...

Frowning, she turned and grabbed her shirt from the edge of the nightstand. She took a deep, stalling breath and tugged it over her head.

She turned back when she heard a disapproving sound. He was right behind her, looking—if possible—even angrier. “Why the hell did you put that on?” he asked, plucking at the sleeve of her t-shirt in disgust.

She looked down at herself. Her sleep shirt? He made it sound like she were wearing something offensive, repugnant. What was wrong with him? She pushed passed him, confused and, frankly, irritated by his attitude. She didn’t understand him. Why was this such a big deal? Why was he being so irrational about all this? “Because I’m not going to argue with you topless?”

He followed her, keeping annoyingly close. “Why not?”

She stopped, and shoved him back. Not hard, but enough to get some damned breathing room. “Because it’s ridiculous!” This whole thing was. This fight. His reaction. She needed some time and space to think about this. Because none of this made any sense.

“But dragging all this upstairs isn’t?” He waved around, gesturing to everything, his long golden hair flicking about his shoulders. “I thought we’d agreed the bedroom was just for us. No TV. No computers. No devices.”

She vaguely remembered that conversation. She’d thought it was odd then. Still did. “Why does it matter so much?” It was just a TV. Just a video game.

“Tell me, Max, while you’re playing your game until the middle of the night, exactly what am I supposed to do? I can’t exactly sleep with all this around.” He nodded. “Oh, but, of course, I won’t be sleeping, because I’ll be waiting for you to finish your game, so you can finally find time to spend with me. That’s right.”

He shook his head. “This room—this bed—is supposed to be for us,” he repeated. “Us. It’s why we agreed, no other partners here, no working in here, no distractions.” He threw his hands up in obvious frustration. “But, now, it’s about you and your game.” He sat down on the edge of the bed, the striped bedspread laid out between them. “Where do I fit in?”

Max paused. He sat on her side of the bed. Her keyboard lay on the other. An unintentionally symbolic visual.

Fuck.

It’d seemed like such a good idea at the time.

And, to her, it still did.

But, for him...

He’d wanted to spend more time with her. And her solution was making sure she could squeeze every last second of gameplay in that she could.

He hung his head. “It just,” he shrugged, “feels like you care more about playing your game.”

Than you do about playing with me.

He didn’t say it.

He didn’t have to.

Fuck.

Aw, Sir. “No.” She shook her head. “That’s not true.” Of course it wasn’t. “I love you.” She would never have been with him this long, never would have moved in with him, if she didn’t.

“Then why?” He looked up at her, eyes sad and wondering. “Why do you need this?”

She sighed and sat across from him on the bed and reached for her keyboard. “Because I do.”

———

It shouldn’t have hurt to hear that.

It was just a stupid video game.

It shouldn’t have mattered this much. Not enough to hurt.

But it did.

He shut his eyes.

He felt her climb onto the bed and sidle up next to him. He felt the comfortable heat and weight of her as she leaned her back against him, the length and strength of her spine against his shoulder. She let out a small sigh. “You know, when we first met, I’d asked myself why you—why anyone—would need kink. All the toys and costumes and games and rituals seemed so unnecessary. Why couldn’t sex be enough?”

His body relaxed as he listened to her talk. As he let her words wash over him.

“I didn’t get it then,” she told him. “Enough was never the question. It’s not about whether or not you could be happy without the toys and roles in your life; it’s about the fact that their presence in your life makes you happier.”

“And Plunder makes you happy.” He knew that. And accepted that. But… “It’s just that you play it all the time now. And, if you’re not playing it, you’re working on the novels. It feels like it’s consumed your life.” Leaving little room for him.

And they’d just begun this new chapter of their lives, living together, giving this relationship some real weight and priority, and it felt like that was fizzling.

For a game.

“I know.” She sighed and shook her head. “I know I’ve been a little obsessed.”

He snorted. A little?

“But you have to understand,” she said, looking up at him. “You’ve known this side of yourself—kink, BDSM, non-monogamy—for a long time now. Since college.” She shrugged. “I’ve only started figuring this all out for about a year now. I’m still learning. Still discovering.” She held her keyboard in her hands and looked up at the now paused play on the TV screen, her eyes full of Plunder’s adventure and possibility. “And to be able to watch even a part of it play out in a game like Plunder—in a mainstream, widely accepted, widely loved piece of media—and to be asked to be a part of that. A part of shaping our community’s face, our image, to the wider world…” She took a deep breath, the intimidating marvel over it clear in that small sound. She faced him, her expression set in a slight frown. “I just want to get it all right. To do it the justice it deserves.”

Max had come so far so fast—had dove into his world and carved her own place within it, making it her own—that he often forgot how new she really was to all of this. Forgot that she was still building, expanding, and growing her sense of community.

She set the keyboard on her lap and touched his knee. “But I never meant to push you away because of that.”

———

She gave a self-aware huff. She should have seen it before. Should have listened to Kat. And Peter.

She looked up at the man seated next to her, his face thoughtful. She should have listened to him. She should have seen last night as the first step toward reconnection and not the end-game solution she’d assumed it was.

She, better than most people, knew sex—no matter how good—rarely fixed relationship issues. Whatever was causing problems before the mind-shattering orgasm would likely still be there when it was done.

And this was no different. She exhaled deeply. “I know I need to learn balance.” There was an understatement. “I’m too used to being on my own, to letting myself get carried away by things.” She reached out to grab his hand, admiring the strength and grace there. “But I’m not alone anymore.” She shut her eyes and tightened her grip. “I can’t let myself get lost in my own obsessions anymore.” She frowned and set the keyboard aside. “It’s not fair and I know that.”

This had been a dumb idea. Short-sighted and selfish. She shook her head. Stupid. She moved to stand up. “I’ll put everything back.” She ought to box it all up. Uninstall the game.

She opened her eyes when she felt him reach over her. He picked up her keyboard and held it out to her.

She looked at him quizzically. But he just waved it at her until she took it from him.

He shook his head. “You’re so dramatic.” His thin lips curved in a half smile. “I’m not asking you to give it up. This isn’t an all-or-nothing, me-or-it ultimatum, Max.” He covered their entwined hands with his other hand. “For an editor, I wonder at your grasp of vocabulary sometimes.”

She shot him an irritated glance, but he just laughed. “Balance,” he said pointedly. “Where you allow time and attention for everything you want.” He leaned in and tapped her mouse, unpausing her game. “I know this is important to you. I want you to play it.” Max eyed him suspiciously, not trusting the mischievous tone in his voice. She gripped her keyboard as he moved to sit behind her. He wrapped his lean arms around her and pulled her close. “Go on, Max, play.”

She giggled nervously, sure she knew where this was headed.

Play the game, Max.

So I can play you.

She smiled. Okay, Sir. She flexed her fingers over the keys. Let’s play.

She looked up at the screen. She’d just stolen a shipment of weapons from a rival band of pirates; she ought to go back to town and sell them. She was just heading out when she felt his hands caress her waist. She shivered as his thumbs brushed the sensitive swell of her breasts. She swallowed hard.

“You’re not playing.” He sounded so smug.

She coughed and moved her mouse around aimlessly, trying to ignore the way her heart fluttered when his hands cupped her breasts. “Just, uh, trying to decide who’d offer the best price in town.”

He squeezed her breasts. “Of course. By all means,” he said as he flicked her nipples with his fingertips, “decide.”

The tavern owner always needed weapons, to protect his business and to funnel to some allied rebels. He was a good choice.

She blinked blankly as her blood began to heat. She swallowed and frowned. Now where was the tavern again?

She clenched her teeth against a moan, when he began to massage her breasts, and moved her character toward the tavern. She was just about done being cheated by the tavern owner—due to her own…negligence—when his hands began to slip south.

He touched her inner thighs, the stroke making her toes curl. “So what’s next?”

She looked at her loot level, which was lower than it should be. Head in the game, Wells. Head in the game.

Which was easier said than done, when she felt his fingers dip between the folds of her sex.

“This doesn’t really seem fair,” she said, her voice breathy. Her eyes closed at his teasing touch to her clit. His swift, sweet circles were too soft and slow to make her come, but enough to turn her on. “It’s, uh, not easy to concentrate like this.”

“Shh.” She could hear the smile in his voice. He slipped his fingers inside her, her slick arousal welcoming his touch. “This is between me and your lower half. The rest of you can do whatever you want.” He slid out of her, only to add another finger, stretching her further. She gasped and her head fell back to rest against the hard plane of his chest. “Go on, space pirate, loot the galaxy.”

She shook her head, the crown of her head brushing his skin. “This is cheating!” She groaned when he slipped his fingers from her, instantly wanting them back.

He lifted a shoulder and moved out from behind her. On his hands and knees, he looked at her with a grin. “Think if it more like trying to level up.”

She rolled her eyes and chuckled. Sure. Hard mode through sensual torture.

He crawled closer, settling between her thighs. “Think I’m kidding?”

Max only laughed harder.

Right up until he pinched her inner thigh. Max squealed and jumped, her legs instinctively pulling away from him.

He just tugged her ankles back into position, before tapping the keyboard now gripped tight in her hands. “You’re not giving up on the game, are you?”

Max fought the urge to both grin and smack him with the keyboard. Hell no, was she giving up. “Just deciding on tactics.” She just needed to regroup. She sat up and shooed him to the head of the bed, so she could lay on her stomach, facing the screen.

Resting up on her elbows, she nodded. Yes, that was better. It gave her maximum game-play maneuverability while also giving him plenty of space to play.

He smirked back at her and smoothed his hand over her thighs and ass, clearly approving. “Good.”

———

All right, Max, let’s play. He grinned before smacking her ass as he watched a rival pirate attack Max’s avatar.

“Shit.” She wriggled in his hands and furiously button-mashed, lacking her usual finesse and strategy.

Grinning, he nipped and licked and sucked his way up her calf. He chuckled as he heard the game’s grunts and groans and the simulated smack of flesh on flesh. “How about a deal?”

“Kinda busy.” She grunted along with her avatar, her gaze locked on the screen.

“Think of it as a kind of,” he said, smiling, “incentive. If you don’t win this fight, I get to take off your panties.”

“And when I win?”

“You get to keep them?”

She scoffed. “How about you give up your pants?”

“Deal.” Either way, it was a win for him. But he didn’t plan to give up anything.

She grinned as she landed a particularly good punch. “Deal.”

He grabbed her ankle and began to nibble at the sensitive skin. She squealed, letting her avatar get thrown to the side. “Damn.”

He grinned and began to make his way up her leg. She squirmed as his lips and teeth tickled her knee. He let out a chuckle at the way her avatar stood blank and unguarded against her opponent, while he pressed lingering, wet kisses up her thigh.

Her breath hitched, bringing her back to the task at hand. Grumbling, she jabbed at the keys harder. She stiffened, determination clear in every tense line of her soft body. He felt the muscles in her thigh tighten in his hands as she smacked down the enemy in relentless moves.

He frowned as he watched the pirate’s health decrease. She was going to win if he didn’t do something.

With a huff, he trailed his tongue up her inner thigh and along the vee of her legs. Her toes curled and a small, frustratedly aroused sound escaped her lips. He could smell her arousal, warm and womanly, as it built under his attentions. Her legs parted limply, welcoming him—urging him on.

“Fuck.” She growled again, before buckling down to play again, determined to ignore him.

He almost laughed—Max hated to lose just as much as he did.. But instead he bit her. Hard. The sweet flesh of her thigh soft and giving between his teeth.

She yelped. Her keyboard tumbling off the bed to the floor in a crash.

“Ow.” She laughingly kicked out, pushing him away with her foot. “That’s going to leave a bruise, you jerk.”

His smile widened at the idea of her wearing his mark. It wouldn’t be the first time. He loved it when she did. Loved to think about it. About her feeling it every time her thighs brushed as she walked. When she sat. When she cross and uncrossed those shapely legs.

He couldn’t help but laugh when she tossed her sleep shirt in his face.

He grabbed her shirt. A jerk, huh? “Tsk, tsk.” He shook his head. “Looks like you just lost, space pirate.” He stretched and twisted the cotton in his hands. “My turn to collect.”

“Look again,” she said, nodding to the screen smugly. “Sir.”

He looked up at her character, who was looting the now knocked-out rival’s pockets.

He couldn’t believe it.

She’d won.

“Biggest badass this side of the galaxy, baby.” She wiggled her butt triumphantly. Enticingly. He stared at that lush, round behind shake. “So where’s my reward, huh?” She held out her hand. “Pants, please. Now.”

He sighed. A deal was a deal.

But that still left a lot of wiggle room. He grinned before grabbing her hands and pulling them behind her back. He cinched the shirt around her wrists at the small of her back in a messy knot that likely wouldn’t hold up to much struggle, but he liked the image of that shirt binding her.

“Uh, sir,” she pointed out, raising an indulgent eyebrow, “this isn’t what we agreed on.”

He grabbed a pillow and lifted her hips so he could slide it beneath them. Damn, her ass was round and full and thrust up just for him. He leaned down and nipped at one sweet cheek, the cream-colored curve of it revealed by those sea-green panties. Beautiful. Just beautiful.

He shrugged, touching the foam-colored fabric. “You’re still wearing your panties.” He pushed the bit of lace aside, baring her wet sex to his gaze. God, she smelled fantastic. Fragrant heat wafted from her, making him feel crazed. He leaned over to dig into the bedside drawer for a condom before he tore at his pants and freed his cock. “And my pants,” he said as he stepped out of them and tossed them on the bed next to her, “as requested.”

She just laughed until he slipped on the latex and slid deep inside her, making her moan as her wet pussy hugged him tight.

On a groan, he fisted the knotted shirt, holding her wrists still as he thrust within her. He felt her push back against him, her ass bumping and bouncing against his hips. He stared at their bodies, joined in a hot, slick, frantic dance. Fuck. It was so hot.

Her breaths came out in short, fast pants as pleasure pushed her toward orgasm. He felt her body squeeze him tighter, pull him deeper. He gripped her hip and began to thrust harder, the sound and feel of her arousal feeding and fueling his own.

She threw her head back on a gasp as her body tensed, her orgasm overtaking her. He felt her pussy clench his dick in a silken pulse. Groaning, he ground his hips against hers, loving the snug heat of her body, as his own climax hit him, plunging him into pleasure as he poured himself inside her.

For a moment, they lay there locked together on the bed, neither quite willing to give up the feel of the other. Until, in a sweat-soaked slump, he collapsed onto the mattress next to her.

Still breathing hard, she rolled onto her side. She wiggled her wrists free from her makeshift, cottony restraint. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she kissed him before smiling at him cheekily. “If that’s your idea of losing, Sir,” she told him, “I can’t wait to play again.”

He chuckled and held her tighter, feeling her fit him in every possible way. He shut his eyes and took a deep breath, grateful to have found someone like her.

 


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Thursday, September 12, 2013

Plunder - Solo Mission


PLUNDER

PART ONE - SOLO MISSION

Hayato looked up when Max Wells suddenly spouted an inventive string of impressive curses, punctuated by the clicking clack of her fingers on the keyboard. She typed in a flurry of commands, staring at her computer screen with a fury that would terrify most people.

But not him. The first time he’d seen her, Max’s face had been set in those determined, aggressive lines, and he’d fallen for her. Hard. And never looked back.

So he just smiled and sat back on their new leather couch, only half-heartedly skimming the business law contract in his hands. They’d finally unpacked everything in their new condo that, while still strange — neither of them historically sharing their space well with others — was starting to feel like home.

“Really, Richards?” he heard Max say snarkily at her screen before she reached back to tighten the hold she had her wild, red hair in. She stretched her fingers then began to type heatedly. “You’re going to bed now? We’re so close to finding the treasure.”

The lawyer turned and looked at the clock on their wall.

1:30am.

No wonder his attention was wandering so much. He’d been up since 5:30am and needed to be up even earlier tomorrow. He yawned. “Max, you ready for bed?”

“Sure, sure.” She waved one hand at him behind her back, not even looking away from the screen, while the other still typed. “Be right up; just gotta finish one more thing.”

He rolled his eyes. He’d been hearing that phrase for the past two and a half weeks. He shook his head and started up the stairs. When Max got into something, she sunk her teeth in. And Plunder 4 was a hell of a meal.

He’d played the original game a bit when Peter first picked it up, but he wasn’t much for video games and hardly ever had time to invest in them.

Not that he would have pegged Max as a gamer either. She wasn’t. But B.D. Cooper, the game’s developer, had decided to publish a series of Plunder novels through Elysia. And, being admirably thorough, Max had picked up and played through the most recent incarnation in preparation and quickly become enthralled.

Plunder, with its expansive world and rich storylines filled with randy space pirates going on adventures and quests that ranged from the quirky to the epic, was perfect for Max, who couldn’t help but love a good story. But, of course, what had hooked her was the band of characters in the game, a diverse and unique group not often seen in traditional media. As much fun as Max was having playing intergalactic Robin Hood, her obsession was running through all the romance options in the game. She’d been raving and gushing over the honest and respectful representation of characters of color, LGBTQIA+ characters, and even and especially kinksters of all kinds.

It was, in fact, the reason B.D. had chosen Elysia, who was swiftly becoming the most literate and celebrated name in erotic kink literature written by and for real-life kinksters. Because, as she’d told Max, “Plunder just wouldn’t be Plunder if I had to tone anything down to appease some publisher.”

Max couldn’t have agreed more. And she was more than excited to help explore more of the relationship plot lines that the game just didn’t quite have time for.

And, while he was happy for her — after all, as an Asian kinkster in an interracial, open relationship with a woman still exploring her newly discovered kinky side, how could he hate the game or her desire to promote it — he sighed.

He missed Max.

And he shouldn’t.

They were living together; how could he miss her?

After a lot of discussion, they’d finally decided to move in with each other in hopes that, despite both their busy schedules, they’d be able to spend more time together.

Funny, he thought while he undressed and climbed into their brand new, hardly broken in bed, we spent more time together when we were living apart.

And it wasn’t just sex or companionship that he missed. They were in an open relationship; he could easily spend time with Pip or Reena. He could spend time at Donovan’s. He could meet-up with friends, like Peter or Rand.

And he’d done that over the past few weeks. Only to stop when it felt too much like a replacement for what he really wanted.

Max.

Which didn’t feel fair or right. So he’d gone home and wondered when Max would find time for him.

He groaned and tossed about in the bed. Didn’t that sound pathetic?

Pulling the covers over himself, he wondered if this was simply what living with a person meant. After all, it wasn’t as if he had much experience in the area. Not since he and Peter shared a dorm room in college, which had been, of course, completely different. How was he supposed to know?

Of course, he’d heard people say that large commitments, like marriage or moving in with a partner, often led to complacency. Was that all this was? After all, they couldn’t exactly treat every night at home as if it were date night. It’s not as if they could stay in the honeymoon period of their relationship, where she’d teased him in lacy teddies and barely there negligees. Where he’d spent all night worshipping her body. He understood that there was always bound to be a certain amount of settling down as you settled in.

But, imagining Max in her worn-out college sleep shirt battling space pirates, he worried that it might be more.

Turning on his side to stare at the empty half of the large bed, he frowned and wondered if maybe Max wasn’t so much throwing herself into work as she was avoiding him. After all, it wasn’t as if her job required her to play the game. It was her choice to spend every night for weeks downstairs curled up in her computer chair rather than with him.

Closing his eyes, he let out a huff. After getting a taste of cohabitation, was Max regretting her choice?

———

Kat Valdez-Richards stabbed her chicken breast before slicing off a piece. “I swear to God, Max,” she warned, waving the bite-sized parmesan at her friend, “if you don’t stop playing that stupid game with Peter, I will never speak to you again.”

“It’s not stupid.” Max rolled her eyes. Plunder had one of the most well-developed and immersive plots she’d ever seen. She’d never have expected to find a story of that quality in a video game. “I wouldn’t have pitched so hard for the series, if I didn’t believe in the franchise.” She chewed a bit. “I was actually hoping that you might be interested in helping B.D. with her manuscript. She’s used to writing in script-format, but could use a little help with the prose.”

Kat turned her nose and scoffed. “I am not helping that woman. At the moment, I don’t really feel like helping you.”

Max slanted her friend an indulgent look. “You’re in a mood today.”

“Because for the past who-knows-how-long I’ve had to beg, badger, and practically tear Peter away from his computer to get laid.” She grumbled and chewed her chicken. “All he seems to care about now is Plunder.” She jutted out her jaw in a pout. “Used to be he was more concerned about…” She shook her head.

“Plundering you.” Max snickered.

“About everything,” Kat said. “He’s supposed to be looking for new office locations now that his business is expanding. We’re supposed to be researching new cars, since mine is on its last legs. And, yes, I’d like to have sex with my husband without feeling like I spend half-an-hour nagging beforehand.” She scowled at her friend. “It kinda spoils the mood, you know.” She shook her head. “What does Hayato think of all this? He can’t be happy about all your late night raids.”

Sir? Max shrugged. “He hasn’t said anything to me.” And, well, before they moved in with each other, they’d only seen each other a couple of nights a week anyway. Now at least they almost always ate dinner together and woke up together and headed out to work together. What did it matter that they didn’t necessarily go to sleep together? Did it really matter that they didn’t lie unconscious next to each other for the exact same amount of time?

If they did at all. Max frowned. Last night, she’d fallen asleep on the couch next to her desk only to wake up and play a bit more before she left for work.

“You should watch out.” Kat took a sip with a knowing look in her eye. “If you’re not careful, he’ll do something drastic like disable your computer or wipe your game history or something.”

Max gaped. “He wouldn’t dare.”

Kat gave a humorless laugh. “I’d have done it already, but Peter’s the one who would know how to do all that without damaging anything.” She shrugged. “But, if this keeps going, I’m just going to take a bat to the whole system.”

Max snorted. “Not getting any makes you mean, lady.”

Kat shrugged. “Okay, maybe not that, but something has to change. Maybe some kind of curfew or something.”

“Curfew?”

“Sure.” Kat gripped her glass and took small sips, thinking. “Some rule like ‘sex starts at midnight, with or without you. After that, I lock the bedroom door and we’re both on our own for the night.’ It’s not like we don’t have enough toys.”

“And what about Peter?” Max fought the urge to laugh. Kat’s husband might be a friend now, but a fickle part of her was giddy at the idea of him getting cock-blocked by a curfew.

Kat sniffed. “If he can’t make it up to bed in time, it’s not like we don’t also have enough pillows for him to be quite comfortable on the couch.”

Max couldn’t help but laugh at that.

Kat gave her a superior look. “You should be careful too, before Hayato lays down his own rules.”

Max rolled her eyes and took a sip of her own drink. “I don’t think I have to worry about that. Pretty sure I could wake him up at any time, ask him if he wanted to have sex, and the answer’s always going to be yes.”

Kat laughed agreeably before changing topics. Max nodded and ate, trying not to think about the worry now spreading through her mind.

Yes, she was sure that he would say yes, if she asked him for sex. But he wasn’t exactly complaining, even though she couldn’t really remember the last time they’d had sex — not in the last week, certainly, but surely in the last month, right around the move, right? — much less losing his mind over it like Kat. Hell, he wasn’t even asking for it.

What did that mean?

Maybe sex didn’t matter as much now that they’d moved in together.

It wasn't like they had to plan and pencil it in around early morning meetings or late night office hours like they did before the move.

They could have sex whenever they wanted now.

She’d just gotten a little distracted.

There’d be time to make up for it all, after she finished the game.

She was sure of it.

———

Max waited for her game to load to her last save point. She’d failed her last mission twice now. She needed Peter — he was better with the healers than she was and she was getting her ass handed to her — but he hadn’t logged in yet. She looked at her clock. It was way past his and Kat’s usual dinner hour. Even if they’d gone out to dinner or if work had run a little long, he should have been online by now. Where was he?

She looked at her sad, sad loot level. If she wanted a third attempt at the mission, she’d have to get more coins first. Maybe she ought to double back and do a few smaller heists or find a settlement to trade with. With a sigh, she turned her ship around.

She was finishing up a trade deal with an allied settlement when she saw Peter log on.

Finally!

She messaged him. Where the hell have you been?

There was a pause before he responded. I had to wait until Kat fell asleep.

Max raised an eyebrow. Why?

Curfew.

Max literally laughed out loud. She actually did it! Max couldn’t believe it. And you fell for it.

She could almost hear him grumble in his typed response. I didn’t really get a choice. Plunder is great, but I’m not about to give up sex over it.

She shook her head and smiled. You are so whipped.

Hey, Kat’s upstairs, happy and exhausted, and I’m here now. Put me to work before I tell Hayato to enact his own curfew.

Max laughed. Whatever. He’s prepping for mediation tomorrow. Maybe you and Kat don’t, Mr. Big Bad Dom, but we know who really holds the handle in this relationship. And Max Wells, Plundress of the Galaxy, was never whipped.

Metaphorically, anyway.

She sat up straighter. Newly flush with loot, she began to fill in Peter about the mission and what she needed him to do to complete it.

They were about half-way through the mission — stealing private sector stores of food, medicine, and weapons that were being diverted from poorer, rural outposts to an overly opulent government delegate meeting — when she saw the message.

All it said was From Sir right above a counter ticking down the seconds. Fifteen minutes. He was giving her fifteen minutes.

She smirked at the cheeky tactic. So Sir was feeling bossy, huh? She couldn’t tell yet if that made her feel rebellious or like rewarding his assertiveness with compliance.

She snickered and shook her head. Sir.

It was their running joke-that-was-not-quite-a-joke. A titular nickname that held only the meaning they gave it from moment to moment. That granted him all the power and control she decided to give him.

She knew there were people who gave the title more formality — more significance and weight — just as she knew there were people who scoffed at or looked down at or were even offended by it, but it worked for them. In their own way, it fit the roles they inhabited. That they lived and loved by.

It signified that he was special to her — the only man she’d ever allow to get bossy with her and only because he knew how to make it worth her while. Which, in turn, strangely made her feel special too.

Which, of course, didn’t mean that she couldn’t make him work for it.

Fifteen minutes, huh? Cockily, she sent back a message. Until what exactly?

The only response that came back was a new counter. With three minutes shaved off of the original time.

Well, then, aye, aye, sir. Message received.

Looked like she had her own dwindling curfew to worry about.

A part of her — the contrary, rebellious part — wanted to scoff at the restriction. She was a fully grown adult; no one told her when bedtime was. Much less some guy looking to get laid.

Except…well, getting laid sounded pretty good. They hadn’t had sex in a while and, now that she’d thought about it — realized how long it’d really been — she missed it. Wanted it.

But she still had her mission.

Max bit her lip and looked back at her game. Frowning thoughtfully, she shrugged. She could finish her mission in that time, she was sure of it.

It’d taken some creative manipulation of resources and players, but she and Peter had all but cleaned out the sector’s supplies and were dropping them off at the outpost — for a healthy cut of the booty — just as the counter’s timer went off.

Hecks yeah.

Feeling like an intergalactic boss, she collected her share of the raid and saved her game. After shutting down her game, she headed to bed. It was time to collect her reward for a raid well done.

She tilted her head when she saw that the bedroom door was closed. They never closed doors. They’d both lived alone too long and were too comfortable with each other’s bodies to get in the habit of closing doors. So a shut bedroom door confused her.

With him, everything held meaning. Every tone and word and action could speak volumes. It just wasn’t always clear what was being said.

She turned the knob.

The room was dim with just the far bedside lamp lit. She blinked in the doorway when she saw him. Lying in the middle of the bed. Naked. With his hand on his cock. His eyes — a natural dark brown with his usually blue-colored contacts out for the night — were almost completely closed and his head was tossed back on the pillows. Fair strands fell stray and loose from the top bun twisted at the crown of his head. His luxuriously golden skin looked lustrous in the lamplight.

Well, hello, sir.

He was so gorgeous. Unlike anyone she’d ever met or would ever meet in her life. Looking at him was like unwrapping a gift or discovering hidden treasure. Her eyes widened while she watched his hand move up and down his hard shaft.

“You like to look.”

Max glanced up. He turned to lean on his side, so he faced her. Studied her really.

She nodded thoughtfully even as her gaze slipped south to his hard length jutting upward against his taut middle. She swallowed hard. It was a good show. “I’d like to join.” She moved to strip off her old college t-shirt and walk toward the bed.

He held up his hand to stop her. Reflexively, she did, curious to see what game he was playing. “Take off just the shirt,” he said, his gaze narrowing on the comfortably stretched-out, worn-thin cotton covering her breasts, “then take a seat at the end of the bed.”

She quirked her eyebrow at the small patch of duvet he pointed to at the opposite end of the bed. Okay. Weird, but all right. She tugged the sleep shirt over her head and draped it over the back of a chair. “Okay, now what?”

He sat up a bit, so he could lean back against the headboard. “Now watch.”

She raised an eyebrow. “Just watch?”

He grabbed his sex in his hand. “If you’d wanted to do more, you’d have made it to bed on-time.”

She checked her phone. “I couldn’t have been more than three minutes late.”

“Late,” he pointed out, “being the operative word.” He tsked and settled back in the comforter. “I sent you a clock and everything.”

“So I can only watch?” She shook her head. What kind of game was he playing?

He lifted a shoulder casually, but she could see his eyes fire as he gripped his dick again. “You could always give me something to look at too.”

She grinned and rolled her eyes. Give a lawyer a loophole… How typical!

Fine.

She couldn’t touch him; that didn’t mean she couldn’t get him to touch her.

With that thought in mind, her smile widened and she got comfortable. “You want to look too, huh?” She cupped her breasts, heavy and full, in her hands.

Then look. Sir.

She brushed her thumbs over her nipples, feeling the rosy tips tighten. She sucked in a breath and did it again, the touch burning within her. She squeezed one full breast in her hand while she continued to tease and stroke her other peak.

“Pinch your nipple.”

She smiled. He loved to watch her pink flesh flush a deep, dusky rouge with sensual abuse. She saw his grip tense when she moaned and writhed a bit on the blankets.

“Yeah.” His voice sounded breathy and hot. “You like that, don’t you?”

She nodded and squeezed harder. “I see you do too.”

“I do.” His face flushed hot in the low light. “Twist.”

Her breath hitched and she felt her breasts shake with the harsh jerk. She felt the sensitive skin of her nipple stretch and the blood rush beneath her finger’s pinch. Her eyes fluttered shut as sensation shot through her. She breathed through it before massaging her tender flesh in sweet, soothing motions.

“Are you wet?”

She tilted her head and looked at him. “Do you want me to see?”

“Yes.” The word was a hiss.

Fine. She tucked a hand down beneath the waistband of the pajama bottoms she was wearing. She slid her hand down to stroke the soft, swollen folds between her legs. “Mmmm.” She continued to rub along her labia. “Very.”

“Let me see.”

She grinned and tsked. “What do I get out of it?” She began to play with her nipple again.

“I’m letting you see mine;” he said, letting his hand lingeringly play along his hard length, “only fair I get to see yours.”

She almost laughed aloud. “If you’d really wanted more, sir,” she said, echoing his earlier words while she spread her legs more, offering him a better view of her cotton-blocked tease, “you’d have asked me to take off my pants.”

He chuckled, the sound low and luring. “Fair enough.” He shifted to sit up a bit more. “Then, if you won’t let me see, tell me. Describe it.”

She sent him an amused look. He wanted her to dirty talk about touching herself? She pursed her lips and thought about it. Okay, she could do that. “My sex is so slick I can feel it drip warm and thick over my skin.”

“Are you getting the bed wet?” His hand began to move faster.

“Yes.” She could feel her arousal soak through her pants; it must be staining the covers.

“What else?”

She coated her finger with her heat and began to stroke her sex. “I can feel my clit, hard and needy against my fingertip.” She panted, the words broken by her breath. “I can feel each touch like a lick of fire, starting in my belly and spreading all over.”

“More.”

She looked up and met his gaze, the dark brown of his eyes feeling almost like a stranger’s after more than a year of his usual contact-colored blue. It made her feel keenly watched. Exposed. Naked. “I can see you watching me. Can feel your eyes on my body like a touch.”

“Does it make you hot?”

It shouldn’t. Not when it felt so unfamiliar. “Yes.” Because, as strange as it may feel, here with her Sir, it also felt safe. Riding an edge that, with him, she knew well. “Yes.”

“Does looking at me make you hot?”

Always. She bit her lip and nodded, not trusting the words to feel right on her lips. She wanted to touch him. Wanted him to touch her. She wanted to take him and be taken. Staring into the need in his dark, deep, walnut-colored eyes, she needed him. She nodded, feeling her teeth ravage her silent mouth.

“Say it.”

She shook her head and pursed her lips tight.

“Tell me.”

She shut her eyes and bent her knees. Her feet flexed hard against the pleasure threatening to overtake her, even as her hands continued to play hurried havoc over her body.

“Max.” His voice, so musical and almost pretty, reached inside her and tugged at her will. “Look at me.”

She shook her head again.

“Look at me and I’ll let you have an extra half hour of Plunder tomorrow.”

She shouldn’t have, but she laughed and opened her eyes.

Yep, she really shouldn’t have.

She felt her control slip, the second she saw him. Beautifully tense, every muscle in his lean body pulled taut. His arousal-flushed skin was slick with a sheen of sweat. And his cock thrust, insistent and hard, in his hand, was held in a tight fist. He was on that same edge with her. And about to fall off.

Fuck.

She felt her body peak on a sharp breath, everything within her seeming to lurch as pleasure tore through her. Her head fell back and she moaned, her back arching and her mind going blank even while her hands kept on in adoring torment.

She heard his echoing groan, a shuttering sound, and felt the bed rock beneath her as he writhed.

She smiled. Maybe there was something to this curfew thing. Cause that was definitely worth getting into bed for.


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Thursday, July 18, 2013

Kneel Before Me

GENUFLECT

Nicholas Bailey shoved his hands in his leather jacket and walked down the beachside sidewalk, passing workers on their way home. Harried families fought foot traffic with lovestruck couples presently too enthralled with each other to hear the tired cries and frustrated sighs of their futures. The din of one-sided cellphone conversations clashed against the call of street vendors, each raising its volume as they struggled to be heard over the other.

Shutting his eyes, wishing it were that easy to shut it all out, Nicholas turned the corner and stared at his destination.

For a person who knew where to look, Donovan’s was built like a veritable magic box, with trap doors and hidden hatches everywhere. There were an obscene amount of ways to secret into and out of this den of decadence disguised as just another trendy downtown club.

There was always the front; the shined steel and tinted glass face at the foot of the deceptively large brick building, that hinted at the writhing, undulating bodies barely veiled behind it as pulsating rhythms poured seductive out into the night like a siren’s song.

Then there was the exclusive back way, reserved for the highly exclusive and highly elite — those who held those keys were the ones with the most to hide and the most to lose. They were the ones whose business-suited exteriors hid more exciting centers, slowly revealed as they mazed their way through the labyrinthine offices that shared their homes and hallways with the increasingly infamous club. Clandestine comfort through corporate covers.

But still too were all the side entrances, doors that were often hidden, marked only by a lone smoker standing sentry or a lounging barfly leaning against black brick, allowing only the authorized and approved attendance.

Those were the doors that, for three years now, Nicholas had preferred. The shadowed passageways in darkened alleys where few deigned to notice and fewer dared to frequent. It offered cover and comfort of a different sort. In his usual costume of dark jeans and dark jacket, it lent Nicholas an invisible anonymity he appreciated. Especially in the past few months, since word about the club and the eccentric clientèle it catered to had spread across the local media waves just in time for splashy seasonal sweeps.

Last night, Nicholas had seen yet another report about protest groups of the devoutly faithful who had posted themselves at Donovan’s front and rear entrances to vehemently preach against not only the club’s members, but the businesses that allowed this hedonistic haven to flourish. “It’s an abomination,” a blond woman in a snow white sweater with pretty, serious eyes, had said into the reporter’s microphone, “to allow such an affront to goodness and decency to stand.”

Nicholas knew he had to be careful. Had to avoid the cameras and reporters and protesters flanking the main ways. Hand hovering over his naked throat, he missed the feel of his stiff, crisp white collar. He felt exposed without it, even as the light weight of it felt like a leaden lie in his pocket. But it was better this way. A necessary sin. Father Nicholas Bailey knew no one would — no one could — ever understand.

Nicholas wasn’t at all that sure he understood.

Nodding to Gabe, the tall, beefy doorman on duty, Nicholas flashed his membership pass — a simple strip of laminated cardboard on his keychain with nothing but a barcode that Gabe scanned before letting him inside the unassuming north side door the doorman had been leaning up against while he smoked. The terse man greeted him with an acknowledging nod and a puff of his ever-present cigarette. Nicholas nodded back and entered.

Who is this that cometh out of the wilderness like pillars of smoke? Nicholas thought, the passage hanging in the air before him, swirling as it wafted, woven within the cloud Gabe’s cigarette and breath had left.

In the dimly lit hallways, Nicholas could hear the music throbbing from the dance floor in the club proper through the strangely plain walls. He touched the stone-gray walls and imagined that he could feel the pounding beat against his fingers, could feel the heated twist of gyrating bodies against his hand.

Moving down the cave-like hallways, he headed further back, driven and drawn as if called by name. Tell me, O thou whom my soul loveth, where thou feedest, where thou makest thy flock to rest. He let the curves and turns in the walls lead him as he made the familiar pilgrimage back. As he walked, the sounds of the music muted, replaced by a strangely soothing cacophony of muffled murmurs, soft sighs, and sharp gasps.

He closed his eyes, sightlessly sure of his way. Instead, he concentrated on the sounds surrounding him. In one hallway, people recited poetry, their voices low and breathy as their words stroked over the senses. He couldn’t hear well enough to distinguish the words, but the cadence and tone were enough to carry him on his way. Another was nothing but guttural grunts and groans, the sound of flesh pounding against flesh in a struggle that sounded at least as lusty and primal as it was fierce. Yet another was completely silent except for the slightest shuffle and a stifled sigh.

With a sigh of his own, Nicholas turned his final corner and stopped in front of a door. A rather ordinary looking one. Not really different from the others around it, if it weren’t for the air of formal reverence and faint organ music that drifted around it.

Opening the door, the scent of incense — the pungent, piney scent of frankincense — assaulted him. The dim, candlelit room was small, about the size of a classroom, with old, creaking pews lined in a vee around a tall table draped like an altar set atop a small, elevated stage at the head of the room. Pictures of saints suffering serenely hung everywhere as classical hymns played over the speakers at the front of the room.

For a moment, Father Nicholas stood still at the mouth of the mock chapel.

He shouldn’t like this room.

Should hate it and the offense its gaudy, fetishized face made of his faith.

He was a priest, for goodness sake!

But, as he made his way down the aisle of pews, his fingers brushing the slick, slightly nicked wood, he felt a weight lift from his shoulders.

This week he’d counseled two rehab groups — one for alcohol addiction, another for drugs. He’d mentored children in hospices, his heart breaking as he tried to comfort kids hooked up to monitors and machines who knew things about life and death that Nicholas didn’t think he was ready to understand.

Today, he’d spent hours trying to urge a woman to report her husband’s abuse. They had five years of marriage, only three of them good. She had a busted lip, a bruised cheek, and a child on the way. And he…

Nicholas had had a sickened heart and none of the right words.

So when his brothers had urged him to take some time for himself — to get out and away for a bit — he hadn’t gone for the walk he’d told them he would. He hadn’t gone to the park or the store or to get some coffee like perhaps he ought to have.

He’d come here.

God only knew why.

Nicholas knelt, dropping into a gentle genuflect and made the sign of the cross, before taking a seat in the second row. It should have felt wrong to perform the rituals in this space, to perform the sacred within the profane.

Except it didn’t feel profane.

Nicholas checked the clock on the wall. Any minute now, the mass would start. Lowering himself onto the padded kneeler, he bowed his head and laid his folded hands onto the back of the pew in front of him. Quieting his mind, he opened himself to the room. To the experience. Letting the day’s pressures lift.

The room was hushed, filled only with the soft whisper of ecclesiastic strains and the reverent shuffle of silent feet as the pews began to fill. He could feel the collective anticipation — the shared held breath that seemed to fill the air in the room. It was heavy, heady, this thick thing in their midst. Like the moment right before a storm, it was excited and exciting as it built with each quiet tick of the clock.

He began to pray; the familiar words a comfort, a steady habit that even here — especially here — he couldn’t break. Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name.

And then he heard it.

Nicholas’s eyes popped open as he raised his head. He turned, his ears searching for the sound. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done.

It started low, this rhythmic tap — just a small ting against tile — like the beat of a heart.

His hands clenched as his pulse raced. On earth as it is in heaven.

She took her time — as was her tendency to do — letting just the sound of her speak. The soft sigh of skin against the rough rasp of cloth. And that slowly approaching tap with each stilettoed step.

Give us this day our daily bread.

His gut clenched when she stepped into the room, as it always did in that moment, titillation tingling, taboo and thrilling, along his whole body. Not just under the skin, but soul-deep.

Catholic guilt, he thought blandly, almost matter-of-factly. The belief that everyone is born guilty, that the very act of breathing held within it the essence of sin. The idea that life — this precious and fragile and beautiful gift — was meant to be mourned, was preordained to be spent miserable and wanting.

Nicholas, no matter how much he’d studied the belief at seminary or thought and meditated on it now, had always felt it had no place in his faith.

Yet, as the woman, Solomon, in her store-bought clerical costume took her place at the head of the makeshift altar, Nicholas wondered if he would crave — would love and need and be so moved by — this experience if not for its transgressive nature.

And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.

She signaled them to rise. As a whole, the room — men and women, the loved and the lonely, the lost and the found — stood.

Not a great beauty, Solomon was tall and thin, her small breasts buried and hidden beneath the men’s garb even as her shoulders and hips pressed tight against the ill-fitted material. Her frizzy cloud of dark curls was left wild about her face like a dark halo, framing angles too sharp and lines a little too harsh to be called truly feminine. Her lips, painted a dramatic red, were thin but firm, a definite and expressive slash across her face.

Her eyes were the only really soft quality about her. Deep and brown, they gazed out at her flock with a tenderness and caring Nicholas understood well. Whatever their differences, he knew he — more than anyone else in the room — understood that look. It connected them somehow. Made him feel close to her. Intimate, in a way.

“‘As the lily among thorns, so is my love.’” Her voice was clear and sure as she addressed the room with arms still outstretched as if to embrace.

And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

“Amen,” he said along with the chorus of others before she gestured for them to sit.

Again, he wondered why he came here. Why he felt so compelled to watch as they aped at holy acts and parroted passages and sacred psalms.

As a priest, he could see the inaccuracies. The falsehood of the farce. Dressed in polyester in a room filled with old, mismatched church trappings, Solomon made for a ridiculous officiate. With her crimson lips and her five-inch stiletto boots, she wasn’t even really trying. Sure, she had the words — if a snickering child’s understanding of them, like a puckish preteen giggling over cuss words in confirmation class. It ought to have felt fake and wrong.

Yet that look. That look of compassion and love; it felt more honest than Nicholas could remember being in a long time. There was something safe and soothing in the way she looked at the pews filled with her followers. In the way she looked at him.

“‘Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come,’” Solomon said as she gestured out to the small gathered crowd. “Have no fear. Have no shame. For ‘thou art all fair, my love; there is no spot in thee.’”

Nicholas moved to once again kneel, his supplicant hands folded against the pine, itching — to take, to hold, to reach — for something as he watched people — first just one tentative follower, then another and then another — walk through the pews, trickling into the aisle to line up before her.

With bowed heads, the three stood at the lip of the small stage, shaking with nerves while the room stared at their bent backs. They looked scared. They looked excited. And still there was a quality inside them that Nicholas couldn’t place. Something familiar and recognizable flushed across their skin, like humility or shame, but not.

Stepping away from the altar, Solomon gestured to the first man, a forty-ish man with thinning hair and a strong jaw. Moving with a smooth grace to stand statuesque before him, she looked so ethereal and benevolent. The man fell to his knees at her feet. “My child,” she intoned and placed a long-fingered hand atop his balding head.

“Forgive me, Father,” the man began, “for I have sinned. It’s been six weeks since my last confession.”

Solomon nodded, her spiraled hair bouncing as she urged him to continue. Her fingers curled, letting her long, red nails scrape against his exposed scalp.

“I’ve committed the sin of impure thoughts,” the man admitted, his jaw tightening slightly — from the confession or his confessor’s attention, Nicholas couldn’t be sure.

“Impure thoughts?” Her tone was almost casual if it wasn’t for the commanding force laced in her every word and movement. “And what thoughts have you been having, my son?”

“They’re not often,” he stuttered to assure. “Not even that impure — ”

He winced again, this time surely from the pinch of Solomon’s grip as she palmed his head, her nails now driving her unsaid point home. “What,” she repeated more forcefully, “impure things have you been thinking?”

Nicholas cringed at her voice — so cool and hard — even as he leaned forward, pressing his body close to — into — the unforgiving pine. Her words washed over him like a current. It felt as if she were painting his own soul so she could see his sins.

“They’re of my son’s fourth grade teacher,” the man sputtered quickly before letting out a relieved sigh when she loosened her grasp, turning her clasp into a caress that encouraged him to continue. “Ever since my son’s last conference, I keep playing the scene over and over in my head. Not really what she said or even really what she did. I just,” he gulped guiltily, “like to imagine her lips.”

“Her lips?” Solomon let her hand drift low to stroke his face.

“Yes.” The man hissed, tipping his head back like a cat into her touch. “She wore red lipstick.”

“Like mine?” Solomon asked.

The man’s gaze narrowed and heated, staring at her lips as if remembering, as if seeing another pair. “Yes.”

Nicholas looked too. Watched as her lips slipped into a slow smile, flashing just the barest hint of teeth. “Do you think about kissing her?” Solomon’s own lips pouted as they formed the words, the slight bow of her mouth bending in deliberate dips of lips and teeth and tongue. “Do you imagine the feel of her mouth upon yours?”

Nicholas licked his lips — his tongue slicking across his mouth in time with the man’s — anticipating his answer as if it were a taste stuck on his own skin.

“Yes.” The reply was barely more than a breath.

“What else did you imagine?” Solomon trailed her nails up and down the man’s cheek.

His face was sweating and his whole body tensed. The man shook his head, begging her not to push him with eyes so wide and worried the look felt like a hit to the heart.

Unmoved, she simply said in an implacable, undeniable command, “Speak.”

The middle-aged man sighed — looking impossibly young in that moment, like a recalcitrant child. “I imagine her licking her lips as she looks up at me.”

“Up at you?” she asked over the already heavy breathing in the crowd.

“She’s on her knees. In front of me,” the man admitted.

“Like you are.” Solomon smiled. “With me.”

“Yes,” he said slowly, his voice quiet and unsure. “And no.”

“Is she naked?”

“No,” the man said hurriedly. “No, she’s always just as she was in the conference. A red sweater, full-covering and too bright, and a long, baggy, shapeless denim skirt.” The man shook his head, bewildered, bumping her hand as he did. “I don’t even know why. I don’t find it attractive. Except...”

Solomon waited, letting the pause stretch a bit before asking, “Except?”

“With the rest of her covered,” the man said, his words now quick and his breath short, “all I can see are those lips. A little pouty as they purse.”

“Then what?” Her hand stroked his face, cupping as her skin smoothed along his rough, square jaw.

“Then she takes me into her mouth, her lips and tongue,” he marveled, awe and reverence lifting his voice like a revelation, “are like nothing I’ve ever felt before. Better than my wife. Better than any woman I’ve known. Better than the very first time I’ve ever had really good head.”

He shook his head, his face suddenly changing as realization overtook the fantasy. “Even sitting two feet from my son — sitting two feet from my wife — it was all I could think of. It’s still all I can think of.” His shoulders slumped as he turned his face from her touch, leaving her hand still in the air, reaching.

“And this,” she said as she turned his face toward her again, “made you feel guilt?” The man nodded, his large jaw held firm in her palm, still not meeting her gaze. “Guilty enough to come to me?” Again, he nodded, his whole upper body now bowed low before her.

“‘Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come.’” She pulled him upright with the hand still clutching his chin. “The truth of your confession has helped set you free, but penance will soothe your soul. Come.”

Nicholas shifted, his twisted limbs tense, and watched the other man stand, struggling to find his feet beneath him as she pulled him to the lip of the stage. Giving him a small tug and an almost dismissive shove, she pushed him off the step of the stage with an oomph. As he tripped along the tile, she took a sweeping seat on the stage’s edge, smoothing the rough material of her pants.

Giving an arching look up at him, she patted her lap. “‘As the lily among thorns, so is my love,’” she said, her voice now low with warning and promise.

Nicholas wheezed out a breath when the man took a step closer to her. He watched the man suck in a deep, steadying breath before leaning over to lie down on Solomon’s lap. “Your penance,” she announced to the crowd as she pulled back her opened hand, “three Hail Marys.”

The man gulped and the color drained from his face.

“This is what you need,” she said, her gaze penetrating and all-knowing, “isn’t it? It’s what you deserve. What you want.”

The man gave a small nod.

“Then, my fair one, come.”

He swallowed uneasily again before breathing deep. Once. And then again. And then one more time. Before he settled into a calmly resigned state. “‘Hail Mary, full of grace,’” the man started, his voice firm with resolve as he rested his cheek against the smooth, hard wood of the stage. He shook slightly when Solomon pulled the back of his pants down to reveal his pale, trembling flesh. “‘The Lord is with thee.’”

Nicholas’s eyes widened as Solomon’s red, glossy lips twitched before she swung her hand back to strike.

The man flinched with a gasp when her hand connected with his ass. “‘Blessed art thou amongst women.’” He sucked in a hiss of air, sticking his ass in the air, waiting for her next hit.

Nicholas scooted forward on his knees, his thighs tense and tight and his folded hands squeezed, his nails digging into his flesh.

“‘And blessed is the fruit of thy womb — ’”

Solomon’s hand smacked again, harder this time, making the man’s whole body jerk. “Jesus!”

Nicholas’s hands gripped the hard edge of the pew’s back, his fingertips falling into well-worn grooves in the wood from where other hands had gripped and held in anticipation.

“‘Holy Mary,’” Nicholas mouthed along with the other man as he spoke, his voice huffing as Solomon’s blows began in earnest, “‘Mother of God.’” Placing her free hand on his back between the vale of his shoulder blades, Solomon increased the speed and severity as she struck, leaving large, long-fingered marks streaking red across the man’s pale skin.

“‘Pray for us sinners!’” The man’s voice was now reedy and shrill as if wrenched from his taut, stretched throat. His eyes were squeezed shut, tears welling up and spilling out of the corners of his eyes to trail glistening and wet through the crevices in the man’s scrunched, pinched face. “‘Now and at the hour of our death!’”

Nicholas choked on a heated, agitated cry as Solomon’s hand connected again in a last crescendoing crack. The man’s body rose rigid against her lap — his head thrown back and his back arched — a look of such profound rapture radiating from his face. His eyes and mouth were impossibly wide as he stared sightlessly out at something beyond. Glassy and glossed, he gazed up as if he were seeing God.

For a moment, the room fell mute, marveled. Astounded and awed by the perfect ecstasy that had caught and held the man so sweetly. For a moment, Nicholas was sure he’d never felt so empty or so full, so sated yet still so yearning.

“Amen.” An exhalation. An exaltation.

Then the man collapsed, folded and draped over her legs, looking small and weak — even though Nicholas was sure his much heavier weight must be overwhelming her — as she shushed and cooed, rubbing her hand over his back.

She waited while he shook, slowly transforming the quivering mass back into a man with her touch.

When, at last, the man lifted his head to look gratefully into her gaze, she leaned in to kiss his lips sweetly, just a brief brush of lips. “‘And the priest shall make an atonement for him as touching his sin that he hath sinned,’” Solomon murmured as she cupped his cheek gently, “‘and it shall be forgiven him.’”

The man sighed, relieved and unburdened.

Until she sat back and straightened. “Again,” was all she said before raising her hand.

A small smile pulled at Nicholas’s lips when the man — steadying his legs as he squirmed along her lap — prepared himself again, a sure and ready look steeling his features.

But then, as the third strike struck, Nicholas saw it.

A peering look. A pointed finger. A whisper shared between parishioners.

He turned his head, catching the curious eye of Fletcher Boswitt, a member of Father Nicholas’s church known for his gossipy wife who more than made up for Fletcher’s own quiet, reserved demeanor, as he mumbled something into his neighbor Jack Wright’s ear.

Nicholas, his heart racing, whipped his head back. But it was too late. He’d already seen the spark of recognition replace the sheen of suspicion in the men’s eyes.

Dear Lord.

Madly — half-blind — he saw the forty-ish man had now been replaced on the stage by a couple, a tall, lithe brunette with the bronzed features of a Grecian myth and a man like a visitor from Valhalla. The woman, sobbing as her stoic husband stared stricken, was saying something.

Nicholas tried to concentrate, but his ears were focused back — straining for the mumbled mutterings behind him like a buzzing hiss that filled his head.

For three years — three years — Nicholas had been secreting in to see Solomon. For three years, he’d used back alley doors and mazed through Platonian hallways. Three years of street clothes and shame. Of hiding in shadows and looking over his shoulder. Three years of wondering — worrying — why.

Why did he come here? Why did he feel he needed to?

Nicholas slumped in his seat, barely hearing the Venus squeal as Solomon and the lightning god held her on the altar.

Nicholas felt cold sweat collect on his brow. What would happen if his congregation found out? If his brothers found out? He’d be ruined. His life — his calling — would be taken from him. He felt his collar, curled and kept hidden in his pocket, poke against his thigh.

“‘Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come,’” Solomon said as she handed Thor a long twine of gilded rope twisted and barbed to look like a crown of thorns.

Nicholas rolled his eyes and internally groaned, just thinking what his brothers — what his followers — would think of that.

Filled with dread, he listened to the woman as she cried out the Lord’s words in orgiastic screams that, unlike the balding man, drowned out any reverence or repentance. It sounded raw as the blond god wrapped and roped the woman in his punishing clutch. Animalistic. Wrong. The holy text spoken in hedonistic, heathenistic tongues that twisted and thrashed like a common whore.

He looked around the room that had a moment ago been bathed in soft candlelight and a cloud of frankincense and redemption, that now seemed garish and plastic, like a child’s dioramic vision cloying with dime-store perfume.

Scanning the room surreptitiously, he saw wide-eyed, slack-jawed gawkers, staring as the hard, blond man wrestled and caught his wife, like a hunter trapped prey, with hunger and lust hot in their eyes. Nicholas averted his gaze only to catch sight of hands, fast and furtive, as they crawled and crept over shadowed spaces.

How had he come here? How had he fallen so low?

He should leave. Would have too, if it wouldn’t have caused more of a stir, made him feel more keenly watched to walk out of the room alone and ashamed.

So he sat, silently screaming, as he glared at the couple on the stage. The man’s nimble hands wielded the long length of rope while he contorted and controlled her body, pulling and stretching her into unnatural angles and painful positions. The woman’s rump raised, rooting around as she writhed, her arms and legs now bound and useless beside her. The candles’ light caught the glint of his grin with each loop and knot sealing her silken skin that pulled and pushed against its bonds.

With almost heartbreaking horror, Nicholas stared down at his hands, still folded in his lap as if in plaintive prayer, that pressed down hard against throbbing flesh.

He was hard.

In this room — with its fake altar and fake pews, with its fake prayers and practices, with its fake priest and parishioners — in the face of intoxication and drug addiction, of children facing disease and death, of abused mothers with unborn babes and no hope left — he was hard.

May God forgive him.

A small sound stopped him as a sob slipped from his throat.

An echo of a cry.

Nicholas, wet-eyed and weary, looked up at the woman laid like a sacrifice atop the altar. Her face, unlined and unashamed, looked peaceful, held in a nirvanic trance. Her eyes were closed, but two trails, wet and soft as they shone in the flame’s faint light, trickled down her face.

He gasped when her eyes opened.

That look.

Lord in heaven, he knew that look.

In her eyes, brown and deep and soulful, he saw yearning. He saw an honest and wanting emptiness that longed to be filled. A soul that was striving to be saved.

In her eyes, reflected back at him through candlelit tears, he saw himself.

“Amen!” he heard her shout, her voice raw and hoary as tears now fell in abandon down her cheeks. “Amen.”

Again, the room stilled. Only the sound of her tears — sodden and saved — filled the room as her lover wordlessly released her. He pulled at strings and ties until she fell, tumbled and abandoned, before him, before bundling her in his embrace. “I’m sorry.” She sobbed, her quaking arms wrapped around his neck. “I’m so sorry.”

Tucking her knees in the crook of his arm, he held her close and shushed her, cuddling her as he surrounded his massive form around hers. But still she stuttered, her trembling tears stealing her meaning.

Nicholas felt it like a squeeze deep in his chest as the man gazed at her, forgiveness and grace clear in his eyes before he leaned in to kiss her quiet.

This is why, Nicholas thought, unable to look away as mouths met sweetly. This was why he came here. Beneath the farce and performance, behind the costumes and curtains, there was a current of truth. For all the parroted words, he felt a part of something larger in this room. Felt a connection to — caught a glimpse of — something higher.

More than any ornate altar or stained glass window or holy writ, this — this place, this room, this moment — felt like magic. Held within it the vulnerability of faith, the strength of support, the spirit of love. I once was lost, but now am found. Was blind, but now I see.

This, Nicholas knew — felt — in his heart as the man kissed away his wife’s tears, is why. “I love you,” he heard the man murmur against still moist skin.

“‘Thy mouth like the best wine for my beloved, that goeth down sweetly,’” Nicholas heard Solomon say softly while the couple kissed, “‘causing the lips of those that are asleep to speak.’”

He heard her, her stilettos a steady tapping as she moved over the stage toward the couple. A knowing — a divine knowledge — seemed to emanate ethereal from her as she took their hands and led them down to the edge of the stage.

Solomon gestured for the room to stand.

Nicholas, feeling connected within the ceremony and ritual of it all, pushed to his feet, his spine straight as he wiped the tears from his cheeks.

Bringing the couple’s hands together, Solomon clasped them within the careful cage of her own. Raising their entwined hands, she gazed up adoringly. “‘You place upon us the sweet demands of love,’” she said, her voice soft as it echoed through the space, “‘so that we may find happiness by responding to them.’”

“Amen,” the room replied as one.

“‘The kingdom, the power, and the glory are yours,’” she said as she leaned in to give both the man and the woman a light kiss, “‘now and forever.’”

“Amen.”

She smiled and stepped away from the couple with a slight bow. “Peace be with you.”

“And also with you.”

With a nervous, newlywed giggle, the couple kissed once more before returning to their seats.

Nicholas sat again as Solomon returned to stand behind the altar, the candlelight bathing her in a sweet, haloed glow. She breathed deep and stared with her knowing, soul-searching gaze at her flock, before seeming to stop and rest on him. “‘As the lily among thorns, so is my love,’” she said, a slight smile tugging at her red-painted lips. Holding out her arms as if to embrace, she called to him as if by name, “‘Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come.’”


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