Sunday, March 6, 2016

My First Vanilla Sex Toy Party

So yesterday I tweeted about the fact that I was headed off on a personal first-ever adventure:

One that, as I anticipated, turned out to be less sexy and fun than I’d hoped.

Because, as you can see, I’m just not a fan of these types of Avon-Lady sex toy parties. 

Don’t get me wrong. I think I could like the idea of them. The idea that we’re celebrating women taking charge of their sexual pleasure. Of them coming together in a safe space and discussing how to improve their sexual lives and health.

And, to be fair, it was a very sex-positive night with a bunch of my friends. One where being inquisitive and experimental about sex was encouraged. I got to see a lot of my friends ask more questions about sex and pleasure and their bodies than I’ve ever seen them do.

Yeah, I could get behind that idea.

...Except that, like Avon ladies and Tupperware parties, the women hosting these parties aren’t experts. They’re your neighbors. They’re your neighbor’s friends. And they’re selling you products that they don’t really know much about beyond some blurb on a marketing package and, maybe, if you’re lucky, personal use.

Which is fine, for the most part, for nail polish and cookie tins.

But sex toys and lube?

As I’ve said before, we need to pay better attention to what we put in our bodies. Because too many companies trying to sell you products to improve your sex lives care more about profit margins than you. And, any company that would send an uninformed person into your home to sell you what is essentially a medical product...well, you wouldn’t buy aspirin or antihistamines this way. If someone were selling you a pill or a syrup to swallow, you’d want to know what exactly was in it. And you would want someone knowledgeable and accountable to guarantee you it was safe.

Do you really want to be any less careful with something going up your fun bits?

And, don’t get me wrong, I’m not an expert. I’m much more literary than scientific, but I know there are things to be wary of, certain ingredients that are common in manufacturing lubes and toys that really shouldn’t be.

And, to be fair, I don’t think that the consultant who was hosting the party was trying to be deceptive or manipulative. Of course not. She, just like an Avon Lady, was just trying to make some more money for her family. An admirable goal. And, if she were selling nail polish or food storage containers or stationary, I wouldn’t necessarily have an issue with that. I’m not her target demo, but, hey, you do you.

But, when you’re going into someone’s home to sell women things like vagina tightening creams meant to make them feel like a virgin again, pheromone boosters to help kickstart their and their partner’s libidos, or lubes that promise to balance their vagina’s should know whether the products you’re selling do what you claim they do. You should have more training than shadowing another Naughty Avon Lady for a couple parties and a couple of seminars a year.

Especially, when there just isn’t any good science to back-up their claims. Like I said, I’m not a fan of these types of door-to-door sex toy parties. And I’m about the worst person to invite to this kind of party. Because, while I’m not an expert and do not claim to be, I’m certainly a skeptic. 

I believe in learning what we can. And thinking critically about the information we learn. Especially when it comes to safeguarding our health and well-being. Because, as we are continually learning, too often no one else is looking out for us as much as they are their own bottom lines or agendas

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