Friday, March 4, 2016

Yes Means Yes Only Works If Communication is Key

So I absolutely agree that, concerning consent, "If it's not yes, it's no." That is an important thing that we need to teach people.

…I’d just like to de-couple that from the phrase “Consent is simple.”

Cause it’s not.

And it kinda shouldn’t be.

Consent is a conversation.

On-going and never-ending.

If you want something, ask. Get consent. Don’t just go for it or wait for it to happen.

That’s what we should be stressing.

Otherwise, you get videos like these.

Which are adorable.

…But are kinda also…aggressive. And, if played out by real people and not cute computer-generated genitalia, kinda gross and could leave people feeling already assaulted.

Like don’t grab a woman’s breast just because you’re having a good time together. Just don’t. Unless you have an established relationship where that’s been deemed always and already okay, don’t. Not even once.

Ask first.

And as for the other videos, NEVER TRY TO “SLIP IT IN”. Never. Not even once. Sex shouldn't be a surprise attack, unless you've already agreed that you both think that kind of surprise is sexy.


Talk about it.

Discuss it.

That’s what we should be focusing on.

It’s all well and good to tell people this is what you should not do.

We need to show people how to do things well.

Show people how to negotiate for what they want.

And how to make it sexy and fun and not awkward and uncomfortable.

“Yes means yes” is an important message, but without really good communication skills to back it up…it’s really not worth all that much.

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