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READ MY LIPS
Rene checked himself out in Cafe Bien’s glass windows. He touched the mask he’d just finished last night, made from an old thrift shop find. The vintage women’s shirt had been way too small, but Rene had bought it years ago, just knowing there would come its time and place.
He just hadn’t thought it would come during a pandemic, but Fate worked funny sometimes. And the print on this shirt, full of vintage-styled state flower stamps, worked perfectly as a mask. The flash and mix of color complimented his deep brown skin tone well. The delicate designs of the various blooms, each encased in the rigid cookie-cutter stamp shape, looked dynamic yet classic. As a shirt, the print was too much but, as a sweep of life-saving cloth across his face, it felt like a breath of fresh air during this nerve-wracking time.
Rene walked into the cafe and stood in line, six feet away from his fellow customers. The scent of coffee was so strong he could still smell it through the cotton blend.
He’d decided to incorporate the button-down design into this mask, the trail of buttons down the middle a nice break in the pattern, but also a subtle nod to the sudden taboo attributed to faces. Even though it was all sewn up securely, to stop the spread of the disease, the tease of unbuttoning it and letting it all hang out was temptingly there. And it made Rene smile and that was what truly mattered.
Well, that and…
“Hi, Rene.”
Rene looked up at the smiling barista and stepped up to the counter.
David.
“What can I get you?”
His smile made Rene’s heart skip.
Not that Rene could see his smile beneath David’s disposable mask right now. But he knew that smile. In his soul. And it, as much as the coffee, made his mornings. It made his Intro to Algebra II class bearable, if he had the caffeine buzzing in his blood and thoughts of those firm lips and that striking jawline on his mind. Thoughts of those deep brown eyes, that rich brown complexion, and the way David would sometimes sing along to the songs over the speaker while he mixed drinks were a much more pleasant thought than solving for x.
“An iced cinnamon soy latte, please.” Rene didn’t need to even look at the menu. Which was good, since, even covered in the cafe apron, David looked too amazing in his snuggly fit Henley shirt and black jeans to look away.
“Sounds good.” David nodded before telling him how much the latte was.
You are so beautiful. As Rene rooted around in his wallet, he mouthed the words he’d never have the courage to say out loud against the layered fabric of his mask, safe in the knowledge that, in addition to keeping those around him safe from contagion, it kept his secrets safely contained too. You are the highlight of my every morning. Rene handed over his credit card.
“Thank you!” David smiled, while Rene felt his face flush.
It was a small, ridiculous crush. Rene knew that. He’d seen David’s girlfriend come into the coffee shop occasionally, even though he was also pretty sure he’d overheard David tell his coworker that they’d broken up a while ago. Not that it changed anything. It was still just a harmless, hopeless crush.
Rene held back a sigh as David turned to begin mixing his drink. You move like a dancer, gliding behind that counter while you work. Biting his lip, Rene watched David pour this and that into a plastic cup. Your hands look so strong and capable. I want to know what it’s like to have them wrapped around me instead of a coffee cup. He licked his lips, imagining the sugared brew David was concocting and the sweeter sip of a more tempting taste. You have the shoulders of a god and the arch of your back makes me want to trace it with my tongue.
“Nice mask.”
The harsh words cut through Rene’s daydream. He turned around. And instantly wished he hadn’t. Three unmasked guys stood snickering behind him.
“Are those flowers?” one of them with a blond buzz cut scoffed. “Dude, seriously?”
The taller brown-haired guy elbowed his friend. “You should ask him where he got it. Then you could be so pretty too, just like him.”
Rene reflexively took a step back. It was so strange to see their unmasked faces. It was almost obscene. It would have been less jarring, less offensive, if they’d been naked. Rene cringed away and imagined viral loads and droplet spread with their every gusting guffaw.
The black-haired guy burst out laughing. “Can you imagine being so gullible you not only buy all the hype over basically getting the flu but you think wearing a doily on your face is going to help?”
Doilies are made of lace, you fashion-illiterate lackwits. Rene wished he could say that aloud, but he knew he was safer just ignoring them. A statement like that could start a fight he—with his much smaller frame and penchant for creation rather than violence—had no hope of winning and might cause trouble for David. So, resisting the urge to self-consciously touch his mask, he turned around and stewed.
Which only made the three chuckleheads snort louder. Rene closed his eyes, resolutely ignoring them. Until he felt one of them reach up to tug at his mask’s ties at the back of his head.
Rene whipped around and slapped his hand against the crown of head, catching the ties before they came completely undone. “What are you doing?”
The blond just shrugged. “Helping you take that useless, frilly thing off your face.”
The black-haired guy nodded. “You should thank us.”
For putting him at risk? Were they kidding? Rene felt his other hand tighten into a fist. And those numbskulls wouldn’t know a frill from an overlocked hem.
“Here’s your iced cinnamon soy latte, Rene.”
He turned toward David, who held his drink out to him, his beautiful brown eyes worried and his shoulders stiff.
Rene sighed and retied his mask before stepping closer to the counter to grab his drink. “Thank you.”
But, as he took it, he heard the guys behind him whoop with laughter. “Of course! He’s an honest-to-God soy boy!”
“It all makes so much sense now!”
Rene felt his jaw tense beneath his mask. He just wanted to take his drink and leave, his lovely morning ritual ruined.
But, when he turned, the brown-haired guy was right behind him, causing him to trip and spill the brew all over the both of them.
“Watch it, soy boy!” the brown-haired guy roared as he shoved Rene back into the counter. Rene winced as his back hit the edge.
About to apologize for the accident, Rene couldn’t do much more than open his mouth before the brown-haired guy reached up and ripped Rene’s mask off of his face. His face red, the guy threw it onto the floor and ground his dirty shoe into it, each twist of the rubber sole dragging dirt across the floral pattern.
Horrified, Rene just gaped at the guy. “It was an accident.” Why would he react like that to an innocent accident. If anything, it’d been his fault for standing so close to Rene. Whatever happened to social distancing?
Glaring at Rene, his nostrils flaring furiously, the guy picked up his foot only to hock a loogie down at Rene’s mask. Smirking cruelly, he picked up the now ruined cloth and threw it at Rene. “Hope you get the virus.”
Rene jumped out of the flung fabric’s way, letting it hit the floor in front of the counter.
“Get out!”
Rene looked up from his mask, sad and sullied on the scrubbed tile. David, leaning over the counter with one strong arm thrust out at the three guys, looked absolutely livid. “Get out right now!”
“Hey, I want my coffee!” the blond yelled.
“We have every right to be here.” The black-haired guy stepped closer to the counter. “It’s a free country and we’re paying customers.”
“You haven’t paid for anything,” David pointed out. “And you’re disturbing my customers, messing up my shop, and in violation of the cafe’s clearly posted mask policy.” He pointed at the policy’s sign on the door. “No shirt, no shoes, no mask, no service. So leave. Now.”
“That’s no way to treat prospective customers, you know!” The blond sniffed, offended. “I’m just trying to spend good money for your shitty coffee; whatever happened to customer service?”
David stood up straight, his spine stiffening and his muscles bulging. In a tight, angry voice, he said, “Leave. Now. Please.”
The brown-haired guy huffed and tugged at his friends. “C’mon, let’s get out of here. The coffee here sucks anyway.”
Rene watched the three guys leave, knocking over a canister of straws as they went, the colored tubes of paper exploding into a mess on the floor.
“I’m sorry about that.” Rene turned to see David, holding out a disposable mask to him. David shrugged. “It’s not as nice as yours, but it’s better than nothing.”
Rene took it and put it on. “Thanks.” He leaned down to pick up his own handmade cloth mask off the floor. He winced at the wet, dirty mess all over his creation.
David handed him a pair of keys. When Rene looked at him curiously, David nodded toward the back. “Since quarantine, we’ve closed off the bathrooms for customers, but we can make an exception this time, if you want to wash up.”
Rene felt like he wanted to cry. “Thank you.” You are the kindness the world needs right now.
David nodded as he reached for the mop in the corner. “Take your time; I’ve got to close down the shop for cleaning, since that guy spat on the floor.” He shook his head. “Who does that? Especially during a pandemic?”
Right?
David shooed him. “Go get cleaned up; you’ll feel better.”
Rene nodded and thanked him again.
After locking himself in the bathroom, Rene turned on the water and waited for it to warm up. He stared at himself in the mirror. His hair was messed up from the guy pulling his mask off and the disposable mask looked so drab and sad on his face.
He’d deliberately worn more neutral colors today, to bring out the vibrancy of his mask. But now he just looked like one of the accounting students from across the campus.
Oh well. There wasn’t anything to be done about it now. He looked at the cloth mask in his hands. He didn’t know if it could be saved, but he wanted to try.
After all, David did say to take his time.
So he dunked the mask in the warm water and scrubbed at the dirt and grim with hand soap from the dispenser. At least cotton blends were pretty resilient.
By the time he was done, his fingers were pruny but he’d gotten the worst stains out of it. If anything, it made the fabric look more vintage. Or so Rene tried to tell himself. He’d throw it in the wash again when he got home and wear it again someday. Because he’d be damned if he let those ignorant assholes take anything away from him.
But, for now, he wrung out the mask as much as he could before tucking it into his back pocket and doing his best to fix his hair. He took one more look at himself in the mirror and sighed. Well, that was the best he could do right now.
When he walked out of the bathroom, the cafe looked spotless and smelled as strongly of disinfectant as coffee. Rene looked around, shocked. How long had he been in there, that David had gotten this whole place so clean?
“I had some help cleaning up.”
Rene turned and saw David out of his apron, but still in his mask and work clothes. He even had his name tag on still, while his coworker, a red-headed girl who was now wiping down the counter, waved. Rene waved back awkwardly.
David held out a newly made iced cinnamon soy latte and a small paper bag. Rene took both before peeking in the bag. “A croissant?”
David shrugged. “An almond croissant. You know, to make up for before.” He shook his head and frowned, his whole face scrunching. “That should never have happened. I’m sorry.”
Rene smiled. “Thank you, but you didn’t have to. It wasn’t your fault.”
“Still.” David shoved his hands in his pockets. “I saw those guys loitering outside the shop, while you were cleaning up. I told them to leave, but they might be waiting for you.”
Great. Rene sighed. Well, this day was going great. Rene checked the time on his phone. He was too late to go to his math class, but he still had a Garment Construction course on the far side of campus today. Hopefully, a nice leisurely walk could lift his mood. “Thanks for the heads up; I’ll be careful.”
David coughed uncomfortably. “You can use the back door. It’s usually just for employees, but I’d hate for you to run into any more trouble.”
Rene smiled. “Thank you. I appreciate it.” You really are too good to be true.
David straightened and smiled. “Here, I’ll walk with you.”
“Take your time.” Rene looked up to see the redhead wave them away, still smiling that strangely knowing grin.
David led them through the tight employees-only space. They wove past overstocked shelves and stacked stock boxes before finally reaching the back door. Holding the door open for Rene, David let him pass into the employee parking lot.
Rene turned to thank him again, when he saw David close the door behind himself. Surprised, Rene said, “Is your shift done?”
David flushed a bit. “I’m on break.”
“Oh.”
With another cough, David tucked his hands in his pockets again. “Can I walk you to class?”
Rene lifted a surprised—but not uninterested—eyebrow.
David shook his head. “I’m sure those guys are gone, but it would make me feel better, knowing you got to class okay.”
Rene’s small, ridiculous, harmless, hopeless crush bloomed in his chest. He felt like it was spilling out.
He shook his head. Stop it. Be real. David was just a nice person, who felt bad that Rene had a bad experience.
But, try as he might to temper his excitement, it felt, well, nice to have a nice person like David care about him. Even if it wasn’t the way Rene wished he would. But he’d take it. “Thank you.”
They began walking toward Rene’s next class, David letting Rene take the lead. It felt illogically good to have this strong, kind man walk a half-step behind him. Like a personal guardian angel. Rene had to fight the fanciful feeling from going to his head. Or getting to his heart.
“I really did like your mask.”
Rene looked up at David, flustered. His hand tightened on the paper bag holding his pastry, the crinkling sound seeming unnaturally loud. “Thank you. I like yours too.”
He stifled a groan. Why had he said that? It was such an uncool thing to say, since David was wearing a plain, disposable mask. They both paused at the ridiculous, but reflexive, response. Rene wanted to kick himself. This was why he preferred just whispering his silly compliments into his mask, where no one could hear how pathetic he really was.
He coughed and rushed to say, “I mean, I really like that you—all of you at the cafe—wear masks. And encourage mask-wearing too.”
Smooth recovery.
Rene wished he could take a sip of his drink, just to ease his tight, tense throat, but he couldn’t, not without taking off his mask. No, he just had to stew in his awkwardness. He should just crawl into a hole and hide.
But, graciously, David simply nodded. “Company policy. It’s not easy wearing these disposable masks for a full shift, especially with all the steam and machines making everything so warm back there, but,” he shrugged, saying, “it’s better than the alternative.”
Rene nodded sympathetically. “That sounds rough. I’m sorry.”
David shrugged. “It’s not all bad.”
Rene cocked a curious eyebrow. “How so?”
David looked at him with a puckish glint in his eyes. “With my lips hidden, sometimes I’ll whisper into my mask all the things I’d really love to say to some of our more,” he tilted his head at a considering angle before choosing his words, “trying customers. I get to say exactly what I’m thinking right to their faces without them even knowing.”
Rene grinned conspiringly. “Oh really? Like what?”
David mockingly leaned in, while still maintaining a safe distance, and said in a stage whisper, “Like telling a customer, Instead of yelling at us because you don’t want to wait for someone to make you coffee order, you should just make you own damned coffee at home.”
Rene laughed and nodded. “They’d never be able to make it as good as you and they know it.”
David puffed out his chest. “Too true.” He looked at Rene for a moment before looking away suddenly. “And, sometimes, I’ll whisper, I think you look really nice today. I love that your masks always match your outfits. It's like taking these dark times and forcing your sunlight to shine through.”
Rene’s step faltered and slowed at that, feeling his hopeful pulse race. “Oh really?” Stop it. Be real.
David peeked up at him shyly, which made it very had for Rene to control the flutter of excitement in his chest. "Yeah." David ran his hand though his silky, black hair. “Know where I could get a mask like that?”
Really? “I could make one for you,” Rene blurted out as an uncontrollable flurry of elated emotion inside him bubbled over. He saw David’s eyes twinkle with humor at Rene’s eagerness.
Rene wanted to pinch himself. Wanted to look around wildly for witnesses. Wanted to be sure he wasn’t having some kind of elaborate waking fantasy.
Because this felt like flirting. And not just the one-sided adoration Rene was used to having in his head.
He bit his lip. Calm down. Don’t get your hopes up. He shrugged and tried to be casual, when he clearly was anything but. He coughed. “But, if you only get to wear those disposable masks at work all day, when would you wear it?”
With his hands tucked in his pockets a bit nervously yet a contradictory swagger slipped into his step, David shrugged just as casually. “Maybe when I’m done with work and you’re done with class,” he said before meeting Rene’s gaze for a moment, uncertain hope shining so bright in the brown depths, before looking away again, “we could go somewhere to show it off.”
“We could.” The words fell ready and automatic from Rene’s mouth, as if they’d been waiting there for months. He stopped in front of his class’s building, but wasn’t ready to go inside. “Where would we go?” Even to his own ear, it still sounded like a hypothetical. Like, even as it was happening, it wasn’t quite real.
David smiled and pulled out his phone. “Well, choices are pretty limited right now, but there’s always the park. Or the beach?”
Rene nodded. “Those sound good.”
“Good.” David handed Rene his phone, which was already open to his phone’s contact screen, ready for Rene’s information.
Setting his drink and pastry aside for a moment, Rene entered his contact information and double—triple—checked it. Now would be the worst time for a thumb fumble. When he was sure he’d put it in correctly, he handed David his phone back.
David looked at it and smiled before tucking his phone once again into his back pocket. “I should get back to work now.” He swallowed hard. “But I’ll text you when I get off.”
It was almost a question. As if David was as unsure as Rene felt. Which was ridiculous. Look at him. What could someone like him have to be unsure about? But, ridiculous or not, it made Rene want to reassure him. “You better.”
David laughed a little, the small sound both amused and relieved. “Okay. Have a good day in class.”
With David’s delicious gifts in his hands and the promise of more in the air, Rene didn’t know how he couldn’t.
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