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CHAPTER NINE: FULL PINK MOON - PART THREE
Russ snuck another worried glance at Dawn as she sniffled on his couch. He’d been trying — all but begging — for over an hour to get her to tell him what was wrong, but she either just shook her head or burst into tears. She wouldn’t even let him touch her. Wouldn’t even let him close. He fought the helpless whimpers clogging his choked-up throat as he perched on the other end of the couch, trying like hell to give her as much space and support that he could. It was killing him, not being able to help.
Had she run into Tucker in town? Had he stopped by her school again? A growl ripped through him. If he’d hurt her again…
He looked up when he felt Dawn’s hand rest on his arm soothingly. He groaned and wanted to kick himself. “Please, don’t do that.”
Dawn sniffed and wiped her eyes on her sleeve. “Do what?”
He reached out and grabbed her a tissue. “Comfort me, while you cry.”
She blew her nose. “I’m sorry.”
“And now you’re apologizing.” Russ clutched his chest dramatically. “You’re really trying your best to make me look like the world’s worst partner.”
He smiled when he heard her wetly giggle behind her tissue. “I’m not trying to.”
Shaking his head, he tsked playfully. “So just succeeding then, I see.”
She chuckled again, this time louder. That was more like it. “I love your laugh.” He hadn’t meant to say it out loud, but couldn’t regret it when he was rewarded by another laugh as she snuggled closer to him. He kissed the top of her head. “You want to talk about it now?”
She bit her lip and scrunched her nose as she thought about it, before shaking her head. “I don’t want to cry anymore.”
Even as a part of him ached for her to trust him with her tears, Russ understood that. Now that she’d finally stopped, he could imagine her being afraid to start it all up again. So he nodded. She liked to run, but she looked exhausted. Baking while tired didn’t sound like such a great idea either. He wondered whether reading while emotionally drained was wise. What did that leave her with? He frowned. If he was in her place, what would make him feel better? He rubbed his cheek against her hair. “Want to help me in the garden?” She liked it there and had said that sometimes tending the earth could help ground a person. He peeked down at her hopefully.
He felt her tip her head pensively, one way and then the other, before nodding. She peered up at him, her wet eyes shining a bit brighter. “You know what? I think I would.”
He grinned, wrapping his arms around her.
After two sweaty hours of weeding and pruning and, to be honest, simply playing around in the dirt, Russ was glad to see Dawn’s mood lift. Like it often did for him, having a simple task to complete seemed to steady Dawn, giving her back the control she’d lost.
Russ leaned back and breathed deep, enjoying the warm sun and the earthy scents surrounding him, when Dawn finally spoke. “Do you think I’m selfish?”
Frowning, he turned to her as she dug around in the dirt, picking up tiny twigs and roots to give the plants some more space. “I would never think that about you.” She was the most giving soul he knew, always thinking about the wants and needs of those around her. He narrowed his gaze on the serious look on her face. “You should never think that either.”
She didn’t say anything to that. Didn’t even turn to look at him. Just stared at the dark soil, as if she could find her answers there.
Going to her, he wiped some smudged dirt off her forehead. “You give so much of yourself to help your kids.”
She twisted her face away from him. “But I still feel like I’m failing them.”
“Failing them how?” Where were these thoughts coming from? “Did something happen at the school?”
“One of my werewolf students got into a fight with the brother of one of my human students.” Her face fell, the look of anguish feeling like a knife to the gut to him. “All because the two had become friends.” She shook her head. “I was so stupid. I really thought, if I could get through to these kids, that would solve everything.” Her fists tightened on the garden mess, snapping the tiny sticks. “But they still have to deal with this huge, broken world beyond my classroom that doesn’t work the way I’ve taught them it should.” Her gaze stared out in despair across the pond. “Am I just giving them false hope and flawed expectations? What if all I’m really doing is setting them up for failure? For disappointment?”
Russ hated the pain and disillusionment in her strained voice. Hated how useless and inadequate it made him feel. Dawn was hurting and, no matter how much he wished he did, he didn’t have the words or ways to fix what felt so broken. He wasn’t particularly smart or ambitious. Wasn’t exactly an optimist or some earnest idealist. He was never going to change the world; he wouldn’t even know where to start, much less what advice to give. Shaking his head, he wished he could be what she needed. What she deserved.
He shrugged, looking down at the mint he’d been harvesting. “Maybe you are,” he admitted, thinking about his own life. When she turned to gape at him, clearly letting him know that those were not the words of encouragement she was expecting. But it was the truth and, much as he might want to, he found he couldn’t lie to her. “The world is disappointing and it can be deeply unfair to people for all kinds of messed-up reasons. And it’ll always fall short of what we wished it would be.”
“I really hope you’ve got one hell of a but coming up soon,” she mumbled, disgruntled. “Or I think I might start crying again.”
He gave her a small smile. “Those kids, like everyone else, are going to face hardships. They’re going to meet people and situations that challenge them, maybe even try to tear them down.” That was just facts. Life, for all its good days, could be damned unforgiving. “But they’ll also have something not everyone is lucky enough to get.”
Dawn bit her lip and quietly asked, “What’s that?”
“Hope,” he said, looking at her. “Something to believe in that’s worth fighting for. Because someone in their life cared enough to plant that seed.” He fingered the herb that he’d tended now for three years, seeing it grow and flourish and wither and begin anew, over and over.
Dawn had been right when she’d said that a plant like this didn’t really need all that much care but, what it did need, he’d done his best to give. And here it was, three years later. In that time, he’d dried it into tea and used it for garnish. He’d even given some to Garrett to share with the rest of the pack. “You can never know for sure how a seed will grow. Sometimes they die or get sick before ever sprouting. Sometimes they require extra care just to survive, while others thrive all on their own.” He reached over with a handkerchief from his pocket and mopped the sweat from Dawn’s dirty brow, marveling at how someone like her had found her way into his life. “But one thing I know for certain: nothing can ever grow, if that seed never gets planted.”
Dawn’s smile, no matter how often he saw it, would always feel like a miracle; he was sure of it. It was like the first ray of sunshine after a storm. But, just as quickly as it appeared, it fell again. “But not all seeds are good, are they?”
He tilted his head. “What do you mean?”
She huffed. “I think I might have led Tucker on.”
Russ stiffened, his lip curling in disgust. “What?”
He hadn’t meant to yell and hated himself when she flinched. “I didn’t mean to,” she rushed to say, guilt dripping from every word. “It’s just I hate confrontation and I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. So, when he first started talking to me, I just…” She shrugged. “I would dodge his advances and put him off.” She groaned and hung her head. “And, by the time I did — straight-up, no sugar — tell him no…” She pursed her lips and let out an exasperated huff. “I think he’d been listening so intently for my anticipated yes that he just couldn’t hear my no.”
Russ bit back a growl. “Then he should get his damned hearing checked.” When Dawn looked taken aback by his responses, he shook his head. “It doesn’t matter what he expected you to say or what he really, really wanted you to say; only what you said.”
When he still saw doubt in her eyes, he wanted to howl. “I heard you tell him no. No matter what you might have said or done before that, you said no. Clearly and unmistakably. And that asshole still violated your consent.” His fists clenched at the memory. “I know it almost cost me my freedom. It could have doomed the entire pack — hell, maybe even every werewolf or predator in the country.” He looked deep into Dawn’s eyes, letting her see the truth he felt burning in his soul. “But I don’t regret what I did. No one gets to treat you like that. No one should ever treat anyone like that.” He carefully unclenched his fists to gently brush her soft curls behind her ear. “But, as long as I’m here, no one will treat you that way. Not ever.”
Panic flickered through him as he saw her face scrunch and her eyes begin to water. His hand, still cupping her head gently, tensed as he wondered what he’d done wrong and tried to desperately think of how to make it right.
But then she turned into his palm, trusting as a kitten, and beamed up at him. “You know, for someone who swears he’s not good with words, you always manage to find the exact right ones with me.”
And, right then, he felt something inside him crack, as love for this woman — his mate — crashed through him like a tidal wave. He felt helpless beneath its weight. Too choked to reply, he simply pulled her close for a kiss, letting that torrential force pour through him and into her, and hoped she could somehow feel it too.
*
By the time the kiss ended, Dawn felt flushed and light-headed. Dreamily, she blinked up at him. “I think I’m ready to go back in.”
His amber eyes ate her up as his hands slid down her back, pressing her close. “I don’t think I can make it inside.”
She giggled and pointed the twenty-some-odd feet leading back to his patio. “It’s right there.”
His gaze didn’t so much as flicker away from her. He just leaned in and pressed his nose against her skin on an almost pained groan. “I know.”
She shivered at the need that ached in his tone and the greedy way he reached down to drag her up and back behind the garage. She knew she ought to protest. They were out in the open, barely hidden among the rampion bellflower growing rampant along the garage walls. They were both sweaty and dirty from working in the garden. They were fully grown adults, not hormone-crazed teenagers who couldn’t control themselves.
Yet.
“I need you,” he whispered against her throat as he kissed his way down her neck and cupped and cuddled her breasts.
Yes.
She nodded breathlessly, her tail feeling impossibly tall and full. “I need you too.” His growl rumbled triumphantly against her body, sending liquid heat flowing through her. She gripped him tighter. “Russ, please!”
Rough hands turned her until her hands clutched the garage’s wooden panels. She gasped as he bent low and pressed his lips against her flank, tickling the fur right by her tail. “God, you’re so wet for me.” He crouched down among the bell-like blossoms framing their fevered forms and pressed his face to her cunt, just breathing her in. “I’m so sorry, baby. This is going to be fast and hard and dirty. I promise, once I’m done, we can go back inside and I’ll make it up to you. I’ll bathe you. I’ll spent the whole fucking night worshiping your body. But right now…” He made a helpless noise.
A molten shudder ran through her as the weight of his desire pressed her front into the harsh surface. Fast, hard, and dirty sounded pretty good to her right now. “Do it.” She turned her head back to meet his hungry gaze with her own. “I need it.” She needed him.
On an absolutely ruined grunt, he ripped open his jeans and tugged them down just enough for his cock to spring up, aroused and insistent. Her back arched as he thrust into her just as he’d promised: fast. Hard. Dirty. She groaned.
He chuckled low. “You can’t scream, baby,” he warned her. “No one comes out here, usually. But I can’t promise someone won’t come searching, once they hear those sexy moans of yours.” He pulled out, only to push back in again, in a fast but thorough stroke that dragged along every nerve. “I know I would.”
She nodded and tried her best to keep quiet as he proceeded to destroy her with desire, succeeding for the most part. She thought. Maybe.
He chuckled as a lusty cry escaped her throat right before her body climaxed over his cock. “You were doing so well,” he murmured into the base of her spine. “Don’t worry; I’ll give you another chance to try again.” And then he did, thrusting into her sensitized flesh and building her arousal back up again. She’d like to say she succeeded on her second try.
Nipping her back gingerly, where her fur met her sweat-slicked skin, he practically purred. “You’re going to get us into trouble, sweetheart.”
“Me?” she panted, before raising an eyebrow at him. “It’s not my fault you drive me crazy. You’re too good at this.”
Before she even finished her sentence, he was muffling his own moan into her pelt as his hips pounded into her with the force of his orgasm. “Fuck, baby, no; it’s you who’s too goddamned good.”
The next day, she couldn’t stop grinning, remembering how — being a man of his word — Russ had indeed spent the whole night reverently scrubbing her clean before getting fervently filthy with her, again and again and again. Werewolf stamina… whew, it was a wonder.
By the time he showed up, after class, to walk her home, she felt ravenous for him. She saw him leaning against her open doorframe with a sexy, admiring smirk, his hands toying with a stalk of rampion bellflower, its pretty, little purple bells twirling, and she simply melted. A decadent, dark side of her wanted to shoo all her students out and drag him in.
But, when she saw the way her class’s eyes lit up at the sight of him, she knew she couldn’t disappoint them. Even before she officially ended class, a bunch of students rushed to the door, excited greetings and questions bubbling up in a chaotically excited din.
Russ grinned and crouched down to their level. “Hey, guys; how’ve you all been?” His eyes widened as their little voices got even louder. He bit back a chuckle. “Well, it’s great to see you all again!”
Kris Goslin, the second grade teacher from next door, walked in through the shared craft room door in the back of the class. Eying the mob of excited kids clogging the class door, they laughed. “Well, I was going to ask if you had time to help me set up something for tomorrow, but I can see you’ve already got plans.”
Dawn tried to feel apologetic, but couldn’t quite wipe the smile off her face. “Sorry, wish I could.”
Kris just shook their head. “No worries. Believe me, if I had someone who looked at me like that at home, I wouldn’t want to stick around here any longer than I absolutely had to either.” They laughed as Nikki Wright, Garrett’s niece, all but leapt into Russ’s arms, demanding to be held. Giving Dawn a knowing wink, Kris headed back out the way they came with a wave. “I can find someone else to help me. Have fun.”
Dawn grabbed her bag, slinging it across her chest, and made her way through the crowd of kids. “Okay, everyone, time to go home. Your parents are waiting.”
The class let out a collective, overly dramatic whine.
“But you’ll come to the Night Faire this weekend, right?” Nikki asked, her tiny arms still wrapped around Russ’s neck. “My mom needs help at her booth, so I get to hand out jerky samples.” She looked at Russ with such hope in her eyes. “If you come, I’ll give you some; it’s real yummy.”
A slightly panicked look flitted across Russ’s face at the girl’s words. Saving him from answering, Dawn asked, “What’s the Night Faire?”
Nikki lit up. “It’s so cool. It’s a huge market with all these tasty, pretty, amazing stuff that lasts all night, so my mom usually doesn’t let me go. I have to stay behind with Harold and all the little kids. But my big brother, Kenny, has to study that night so I get to help in his place.” Her eyes widened even further as she squealed. “Miss Dawn, you should come too! You’re part of the pack now too! Everyone always goes, leaving the rest of us behind. But this time, I get to go, so you have to come too. I’ll give you both so much jerky.”
Dawn fought back a laugh. It did sound fun. She winked at the little girl. “We’ll see. Now go on, your dad’s probably outside right now, wondering where you are.”
Satisfied at her enthusiastic sales pitch, Nikki scampered off the moment Russ set her down. Dawn eyed Russ’s scowl. “I’m guessing not everyone goes to this Night Faire, huh?”
Russ scratched his chin and handed her the flowers he’d brought. “I went to one, early on — right before I moved to the apartment, actually…”
Dawn tilted her head curiously as she tucked and twined the flowers into her hair. “Not really your thing?”
He flushed. “I’m not big on crowds or events or…” He shrugged. “People.”
Dawn gave him a playful look. “I may not be human, but I’m pretty sure I qualify as people.”
Russ rolled his shoulders uncomfortably. “You know what I mean. People I don’t know.”
“But they’re your pack,” Dawn pointed out. “Our pack now, I guess; shouldn’t you know them?”
He hunched his shoulders, making himself smaller, but said nothing.
She sighed. “Look, I’m not trying to change you, I swear.” She reached out to stroke his arm. “I’m pretty darn fond of you just the way you are. But, no matter how far you move or how long you’ve been away, they’re a part of you, right? Isn’t that how you said belonging to the pack worked?” She could see him waver, needing just the slightest nudge to give in. “And, this time, I’ll be there with you. We can gorge ourselves on jerky samples together.”
She chuckled as Russ’s ever-hungry stomach grumbled. Taking his arm, she pulled him out of her classroom so she could lock up. “Come on, I’ll let you brood about it over dinner.”
Dawn, wanting to bypass the whole cooking and clean-up portion of the night — after all, she had far, far better things planned later — dragged Russ to the diner. Almost immediately after being seated outside, without even taking their proffered menus, she ordered the exact same steak and salad meals they’d had here previously, before reaching across the patio table for Russ’s outstretched hand as their poor, shell-shocked server rushed off with their order.
Russ chuckled. “A little eager tonight, aren’t we?”
Dawn blushed but smirked at the low, heat-roughened rasp of his voice. “Yes, we seem to be.”
Russ laughed again, squeezing her hand. “Good. Better eat up quick, babe, cause, once we’re done—”
“Fancy meeting you two here?”
They both stiffened at Tucker’s voice.
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