Friday, September 21, 2018

How We Treat a Touch

"Perhaps some # MeToo’d men and their defenders also believe that their alleged crimes were minor too, if they were crimes at all. At least, they were too minor to warrant anything so severe as an admission of guilt, or an apology, or a proposed commitment to self-betterment — let alone professional or criminal consequences. They’ve pitted their pain from being accused directly against the pain of the women accusing them, and it’s clear whose pain we’re expected to care about more. 'I feel sorry for a lot of these men,' wrote Michelle Goldberg in the New York Times, 'but I don’t think they feel sorry for women, or think about women’s experience much at all.' Put another way, by writer Heather Havrilesky: '[C]ruel men believe they deserve redemption and eventual exaltation simply because they've suffered. Imagine if women believed that. Imagine if a woman's suffering were even a passing concern.' ”
- Shannon Keating "We Prioritize Boys' Suffering At Girls' Expense"

I watched a video this morning with female republicans who support Kavanaugh and all they could talk about was how good his reputation is and how, even if he did do what he's accused of, it's not a big deal.

How "there was maybe a touch. Can we, really? Thirty-six years later and she's still stuck on that?"

How he was just a poor "seventeen-year-old boy with testosterone running high. Tell me what boy hasn't done this in high school."

And how "maybe at that moment, she liked him and he didn't pay attention to her afterward and he went out with other girls and she got bitter."

My god.

Logically, it's not a surprise that there are women who think this way--lord knows, I've met more than my share--but it is always a punch to the gut. The fact that they have so much more sympathy for the men being called to task for their bad behavior than the women who suffered at the hands of it. That the inconvenience of being asked to take some personal responsibility so outweighs the pain and violation of victims.

They don't even really deny that he did this. A little lip service. But mostly they're worried that "someone's going to destroy your life because somewhere, at some party [...] you touched somebody the way you're not supposed to." For god's sake, he's being accused of trying to muffle and drown out her screams as he holds her down and tries to tear off her clothes. What kind of boys went to your high school?

More importantly, exactly what kind of boys are you raising and sending off to high school?

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