Thursday, October 13, 2016

You Want in The Door? Try the Right Key

I, like so many others, find it so funny that Rush Limbaugh could—at the exact same moment—get the concept of consent so right and yet so very wrong. That would almost impressive, if it weren’t so very, very sad.

Look, I have talked and talked and talked and talked about consent. So many feminists have.

And I know many people are tired of hearing about it.

And we would stop talking about it, if you would just listen—really listen—to what we’re saying. Because I’m pretty sure that, if you listen and understand what we’re saying, it’s going to make you listen to and reevaluate how you talk.

Because look at that statement:

"You know what the magic word, the only thing that matters in American sexual mores today is? One thing. You can do anything, the left will promote and understand and tolerate anything, as long as there is one element. Do you know what it is? Consent. If there is consent on both or all three or all four, however many are involved in the sex act, it's perfectly fine. Whatever it is. But if the left ever senses and smells that there's no consent in part of the equation then here come the rape police. But consent is the magic key to the left."

Take away Limbaugh’s sarcasm and disgusted tone and it is all true.

Consent is what makes sex—whatever the act—okay.

That is absolutely, 100% true.

That is the guiding principle that all my sexual morals are based on. 

And what everyone’s should be.

Because if you are prioritizing consent over acts, then your primary concern is about preventing rape and abuse. Instead of policing consensual behavior between consenting adults, yes, Rush, what you are policing against is rape. Sounds pretty good to me.

But if you are prioritizing certain acts over consent, your morals allow rape, so long as the rape follows your list of acceptable acts. That’s bad policing. Because, like I’ve said before, I do not care if you are having the most vanilla, heterosexual, monogamous, married sex, it is and should always be considered rape if consent is not present.

If this concept seems strange or ridiculous or foreign or illogical or cause for sarcasm or disgust, you need to stop and take the time to understand why you think the way you do.

To help, let’s—like we did for the Fappening or any digital leaks—put this in terms that you might better understand. Let’s use the framework Limbaugh laid out:

To Rush and Trump and Bush and their ilk, if your “magic key” is a criteria of specific acts, and not consent, for the very reason I—and, oddly enough, you—just gave, you are using the wrong key. Understand that that criteria of acts is so much less a “key” as it is a set of illegal lock picks. And a shitty one at that. It can do what you want it to, maybe, I guess, but that doesn't make it right. So please be understanding when a lot of doors stay closed or even slam shut or set off alarms when you try to use it. Please don’t use that as an excuse to then criminally break and enter passed those still locked or possibly broken down doors because you think “you can do anything” and “don’t even wait” for permission. For consent.

Because, if you wouldn’t be okay with some criminal using that strategy on your literal door—at your home, at your office, and any of your properties—why would you think it’s an okay strategy to use on the metaphorical door of someone else’s body?

Trying to take consent out of sexual morals—to minimize and mock its importance in every sexual act anyone engages in—is to try to excuse, normalize, and permit criminal behavior instead.

I know I’m no business genius, but I’d think that’s a trade deal no one should be willing to make.

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