Fifty Shades of Grey Review - Safeworded Out

I'm not too proud to admit it: the book won.

It got me—a very proud and high-tolerance, pain-slut masochist—to cry "Communist Manifesto" at the top of my lungs.

Like I'd said before I could not—for my own sanity, just couldn't—finish this book.

I tried. I've picked up and put down this book more times than I feel comfortable admitting in an effort to just get through it. But I couldn't. 

All the inaccurate and misleading kink aside, it's just a really uncomfortable read for me. I'm not a fan of first-person. And I'm really not a fan of that perspective when I don't like the narrator. I literally feel trapped in their head. 

And I can't. I just can't.

I will go see the movie and see what I think. Again, I don't think that you get to comment on things that you haven't even given a chance. 

I've said it once and I'll say it again. I hate that the books and the film exist, but they're here and there's jack all any of us can do about it. And, for better or worse, they've made an impact of the romantic and sexual landscape and will continue to do so. 

I understand why people want to boycott the film; I understand the principle behind not wanting to give those people money. 

I have different principles. 

I want to be able to honestly and knowledgeably comment on it. I want to be able to have an educated opinion about it. And, while opinions are like assholes—everyone's got one—if you want yours to mean a damn, yeah, I think you need to know something about it. 

The common response to that is that too many people feel like they don't need to read the books or see the film because they already know it's going to be crappy. Well, how do you know? Because someone told you? Because that's what everyone and their mother are saying on the internet?

What happens when someone who loved the books or the movie asks why you don't like it? You tell them all the things you heard about it and all the things other people said. Then they ask you what you think about it. What do you have to say? Really?

And, if you're choosing to not see the film, you're saying that you don't think it's worth discussing. And that's fine. If it's not your cup of tea and if it's not your problem, then of course you wouldn't care about it. 

But kink is my cup of tea and its misrepresentation is my problem, so I'm going to go see it. And, it'd be nice if people who are uninterested in seeing the movie would stop trying to review it. There are more qualified people—you've chosen to see to that—leave it up to them.

Personally, I want to know that the things I have to say about it are mine, based on my thoughts and opinions and research and not just someone's tossed-off reblog. I care way more about what people have to say about films they've actually seen, instead of the assumptions—correct or not—they make without doing the actual work. I want to know for a certainty that I actually mean what I say and say what I mean.

And, if that means sitting through a shitty film sober with a notebook...well...

Assuming I don't walk out of the theater—a definite possibility, given the book—I'll let you know what I think then.