And there’s a phrase I never thought I’d utter. But, having received forty percent off my purchase due to the Fifty Shades effect, I find that I must.
So, for those who follow me closely on FetLife, you know that I went to the MN Marketplace for Kinksters by Kinksters this weekend—which was absolutely fantastic and a lot of fun!
I came with a few of my friends after work. Which meant, we entered in, four pretty, fresh-faced twenty/thirty-something females dressed fairly business-casual with a few kinky nods thrown in there—a collar here, a corset there, knee-high leather boots and fish-net stockings for a little good old fashioned moxie. You know, the kind of fetish flair that’s still fairly safe-for-work.
So, essentially—given our age-range and look—we looked like Fifty Shades of Grey toe-dipping tourists. I do know that. And it really didn’t help that my group of friends are, by nature, giggly and goofy.
So I can’t fault the vendors who kid-gloved us as we perused the kinky and perverted wares on display. Every time we we approached a table, everyone was so ready to give us a basic tutorial on kink. “Know what those pretty things hanging over there are called? Dragon tails.” “See how much thinner this cane is than the other one? That’ll give you a more stingy feel.” “See the paddles with cut out patterns? It’ll leave that mark when you use it.”
I think I spent a good amount of the market with a knowing smirk on my face. Because, yes, I did know all that. And, you know me, I love—absolutely adore—deviating from people’s preconceived perceptions. And so very little in this world beats the evolving expressions on people’s faces when I do.
The initial shock when they realize that I do know the lingo and jargon and language of kink. The unexpected joy when they realize that fluency is based in experience and well—if not hard—won first-hand knowledge. And the absolutely giddy geekiness that bubbles over into some of the best and most entertaining kink conversations as we nerd-out over the virtues of one material over another or some technique in conjunction with another. As we share some of the most pleasure-filled battle stories, like hedonistic warriors who’ve walked fields few will ever truly know.
It is an untold delight to be able to converse with creative, artisan kinksters over their fetishes and wares. There is such a knowledge and technical expertise that never fails to tickle my fancy and makes me feel like like is meeting like. It’s how I imagine native speakers of rare tongues feel upon meeting each other. As if, for the span of that conversation, you’ve found an unlikely doorway home in a strange and untravelled land.
And I know I’m not alone in this. Because I can read that almost-instant familiarity in their eyes too. Can hear that undeniable recognition in their voices. And I knew that mutual connection for a certainty, when—after these long and lovely exchanges—those amazing vendors extended very generous, unrefusable, “I don’t normally do this, but for you” offers. Which was the ecstatic icing on the kinky cake that was a humble and happy honor.
So, yes, James, I will thank you for the tourist-trap discount that makes me a bit of a deviant dark horse. But, moreover, I’m grateful for the unexpected kinship I found on a Friday night kinkster to kinkster.