I'm as guilty of it as anyone.
When I don't feel sexy--don't feel attractive, don't have the energy, don't feel right in my own skin--I don't want to have sex. More often than not, this really is a case of "It's not you; it's me." It's me whom I'm unhappy with in those moments and has little to do with my partner. I don't like my weight. I don't like my skin. I don't like my hair. I don't like that creeping feeling of blah dragging me under.
And, for the most part, I think that's completely legit. I don't think one should have to have sex when they aren't feeling sexy. And, perhaps, I tend to take it for granted, seeing that I have a demanding libido that tends to kick my ass back out of its funk fairly quickly. But a part of me does recognize that that feeling, more so than anything about my size, skin, hair, or life, is the ugly part.That the indulgent irrationality of it hurts not just my partner, but me as well.
So when I read this article, it really made me think:
If She Can Do It...