* When I’d first written Checking In, I’d deliberately avoided writing this scene because it’s, as the title of this story suggests, a private moment between Lenten and Mei and it felt authorially rude to invade at such a time. But, when I let friends read the book, they’d so wanted to be privy to this moment. So, for a Valentine’s Day writing exercise, I wrote this little bonus scene as a bit of a compromise. This is what happens after Lenten walks into Mei’s room at the end of Checking In.
FOR YOUR EYES ONLY
The door shut behind Lenten and Mei with a definitive clink, the room’s lock clicking into place. It was as if the Elysium itself knew that this moment was theirs alone.
Lenten felt his chest clench as Mei reached up a hand to touch his face. Her fingers tenderly brushed against his cheek, his lips, his nose—all the features that had already paled and vanished from her face—the comparison crushing his heart.
He grabbed her wandering hand and kissed the heart of her palm before pressing it against his chest. Over his heart.
He had had her in his life for so long now, he didn’t know how not to. Didn’t want to know.
He bent his head low, ashamed. “I should have done better by you,” he whispered into the too quiet night. He’d been scared and selfish, had squandered their time together, so sure there would always be more time. That he could find the words and courage and strength later. That here in the Elysium—here with her—what they had could last forever. He should have kissed her. Should have held her. Should have adored her—every inch and ounce—the way he wanted to. The way she deserved.
He should have been better.
He heard her feet shuffle before she stepped hesitantly closer to him. Tentatively—for the first time—she lay both hands on his chest, nestling her head beneath his. She pressed herself against him in a wordless request.
God, she deserved better than him. And, in the little time left to them, he wanted to be better. For her.
Braving a boldness he didn’t think himself capable of, he wrapped an arm around her as his other hand reached for the ties in her hair. Unbinding it, he let the long, midnight length free. It flowed almost unbearably soft down over her back and onto his fingers. He let the silken strands sift through his grasp, reveling in the sensation, before tipping her head back to look down at her.
So much of Mei was already gone. Had faded away into the smooth expanse that had stolen her face. That, before morning, would steal her soul. Featureless, her eyes were all that were left of her.
He’d always thought they were one of her most beautiful features. Deep and rich and true, her eyes were what he always imagined looking out into space would be like. Overwhelming. Too stunning for words. And the closest peek of heaven any mortal man could see.
Looking into them now, Lenten imagined he could read their past in Mei’s dark eyes. See every memory as it flickered through her mind. He leaned in close to kiss the corner of her eye, tasting the loss of their future in her tears.
Theirs should have been a union that lasted forever. But, if tonight was all they had, he would do whatever he could to fit forever into whatever time Mei had left. He wouldn’t let her leave this world feeling anything less than cherished.
He held her fiercely and breathed in the scent of heather that clung to her, feeling her arms wrap around him just as tightly.
Dredging up the courage to say the three words he'd never told her but should have said, Lenten swallowed hard. He felt the slow, faint beat of her heart against the pound his own. He took a deep breath and leaned down to lay his forehead against hers. “I love you, Mei.”
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