Friday, September 27, 2013

Plunder - Co-op Mode

Find Part One

PLUNDER

PART TWO - CO-OP MODE

Hayato felt better than he had in weeks. Even before the move, he’d felt like their stress-levels—both his and Max’s—had been too high. It was hard to feel sexual when you were too annoyed with the world to deal with anything. Hell, it was hard to feel friendly at that point.

No wonder Max had retreated into her game. It was an escape. From the move. From the world.

And, yeah, sure, from him. From all the expectations and the questions. Where should we put the couch? Do you want to buy a softer or firmer bed? Do you want to keep your coffeemaker or mine? Can we fit all our things in one closet or should someone take the downstairs one? Did you go grocery shopping or should I? There were a million little, mundane decisions that used to be easier and more routine when they lived apart that now needed to be discussed and adjusted for now that they were sharing a space and a life. It was just a lot at times.

But, after last night, he felt like they’d connected again. Like they’d gotten back a bit of the spark and fire they’d lost somewhere in the mess of the mundane. God, even now, the memory of her hands on her needy, supple form made his body heat and harden. With that old, profanely ratty college t-shirt no longer hiding her from his gaze, her pale, cream body had been a wonder, all swelling curves and silken skin. She’d been a sumptuous visual feast—the fullness of her breasts, the softness of her belly, the wide sweep of her hips, and her cotton-covered heat—that he would never get enough of. Just the sight of her at the height of her pleasure, of her delicious fall into ecstasy, was satisfying in a way he’d never experienced with anyone but her. Last night, as she lay in his arms replete and relaxed, he felt his world right itself again.

And, instead of waking up to either an exhausted, still asleep Max or, worse, an empty bed, he’d woken up to Max’s hand on his chest, slipping south. They’d made love once in bed and had to stop themselves from doing so again on the kitchen table before they made themselves even more late than they already were.

Already, he felt sharper, more on his game, more ready to take on the world, than he had in too long. He couldn’t wait until he got back home.

Maybe he’d forget that he owed her another half hour of game time.

Hopefully, she’d forget the game entirely.

She’d sent him a slightly racy message at noon. A photo of her sitting in panties and nothing else on their bed. Apparently, she’d taken the day off to set up some kind of special, sexy surprise.

He gripped the steering wheel of his car and pulled into their driveway. He couldn’t wait. Once inside, he stripped off his suit coat and tie and rushed upstairs.

An expectant smile spread across his face as he approached their bedroom. God, this was going to be good.

He stood in the doorway and looked in to find Max on their bed. Her beautiful, lush body was covered in nothing but pretty lace and satin panties, like sea foam, sinful on her skin.

Playing Plunder.

His eyes narrowed and his jaw tensed.

What the hell was this?

He watched her—body tensed and hunched—as she furiously typed. Her attention was fixed on the screen and she bit her lip in concentration.

With one last tap of her keyboard, her whole body relaxed. She let out a victorious whoop before turning to him. “Well,” she said, gesturing around her, “what do you think?”

This was her surprise?

She’d dragged the TV from the den and apparently hooked it up to connect to her computer downstairs. All so she could play Plunder in bed.

This was her surprise?

He stared at her smug smile. “Looks like I won’t be missing any curfew now, huh?”

He balked. “Are you fucking kidding me?”

———

Max leaned back in surprise.

He was mad.

That much was obvious. From the flaring of his nostrils. To the tightening of his fists. To the fire burning in the blue of his eyes. To the slash of color across his chiseled cheeks. Yeah, he was pissed.

The question was why?

Confused, she set aside her keyboard. It was a perfect solution. “This way I can play as long and late as I like and still make it to bed on-time.” She smiled wickedly. “And, when I’m done and all flush with victory, we could have a little fun of our own.” She’d wanted to kick herself for not thinking of it earlier. She could just imagine it. She could work or play on her computer, while he worked on his papers. Then, when they were both tired, they could fall asleep together, just like he wanted. He’d see; it was a perfect compromise.

He shut his eyes. Pressed his thumb and forefinger against the lids. “So you thought you’d lug all this up here, hook it all up, for my benefit?” He scoffed and rubbed his eyes. “This was all for me?” His head dropped back and he groaned. “Thanks, but no thanks.”

Max sat up straight, not liking the insulting tone in his voice. “What the hell does that mean?”

He dropped his arm dramatically. He narrowed his gaze at her incredulously. “Last night, we finally connected sexually again after weeks of distance because you’ve been so busy playing that game.” He began to pace. “And now, in response to that—after teasing me with the promise of a sexy surprise—you decided to bring the game into the bedroom.” He turned to her again. “And you say you did this for me?”

Well, when he put it like that...

Frowning, she turned and grabbed her shirt from the edge of the nightstand. She took a deep, stalling breath and tugged it over her head.

She turned back when she heard a disapproving sound. He was right behind her, looking—if possible—even angrier. “Why the hell did you put that on?” he asked, plucking at the sleeve of her t-shirt in disgust.

She looked down at herself. Her sleep shirt? He made it sound like she were wearing something offensive, repugnant. What was wrong with him? She pushed passed him, confused and, frankly, irritated by his attitude. She didn’t understand him. Why was this such a big deal? Why was he being so irrational about all this? “Because I’m not going to argue with you topless?”

He followed her, keeping annoyingly close. “Why not?”

She stopped, and shoved him back. Not hard, but enough to get some damned breathing room. “Because it’s ridiculous!” This whole thing was. This fight. His reaction. She needed some time and space to think about this. Because none of this made any sense.

“But dragging all this upstairs isn’t?” He waved around, gesturing to everything, his long golden hair flicking about his shoulders. “I thought we’d agreed the bedroom was just for us. No TV. No computers. No devices.”

She vaguely remembered that conversation. She’d thought it was odd then. Still did. “Why does it matter so much?” It was just a TV. Just a video game.

“Tell me, Max, while you’re playing your game until the middle of the night, exactly what am I supposed to do? I can’t exactly sleep with all this around.” He nodded. “Oh, but, of course, I won’t be sleeping, because I’ll be waiting for you to finish your game, so you can finally find time to spend with me. That’s right.”

He shook his head. “This room—this bed—is supposed to be for us,” he repeated. “Us. It’s why we agreed, no other partners here, no working in here, no distractions.” He threw his hands up in obvious frustration. “But, now, it’s about you and your game.” He sat down on the edge of the bed, the striped bedspread laid out between them. “Where do I fit in?”

Max paused. He sat on her side of the bed. Her keyboard lay on the other. An unintentionally symbolic visual.

Fuck.

It’d seemed like such a good idea at the time.

And, to her, it still did.

But, for him...

He’d wanted to spend more time with her. And her solution was making sure she could squeeze every last second of gameplay in that she could.

He hung his head. “It just,” he shrugged, “feels like you care more about playing your game.”

Than you do about playing with me.

He didn’t say it.

He didn’t have to.

Fuck.

Aw, Sir. “No.” She shook her head. “That’s not true.” Of course it wasn’t. “I love you.” She would never have been with him this long, never would have moved in with him, if she didn’t.

“Then why?” He looked up at her, eyes sad and wondering. “Why do you need this?”

She sighed and sat across from him on the bed and reached for her keyboard. “Because I do.”

———

It shouldn’t have hurt to hear that.

It was just a stupid video game.

It shouldn’t have mattered this much. Not enough to hurt.

But it did.

He shut his eyes.

He felt her climb onto the bed and sidle up next to him. He felt the comfortable heat and weight of her as she leaned her back against him, the length and strength of her spine against his shoulder. She let out a small sigh. “You know, when we first met, I’d asked myself why you—why anyone—would need kink. All the toys and costumes and games and rituals seemed so unnecessary. Why couldn’t sex be enough?”

His body relaxed as he listened to her talk. As he let her words wash over him.

“I didn’t get it then,” she told him. “Enough was never the question. It’s not about whether or not you could be happy without the toys and roles in your life; it’s about the fact that their presence in your life makes you happier.”

“And Plunder makes you happy.” He knew that. And accepted that. But… “It’s just that you play it all the time now. And, if you’re not playing it, you’re working on the novels. It feels like it’s consumed your life.” Leaving little room for him.

And they’d just begun this new chapter of their lives, living together, giving this relationship some real weight and priority, and it felt like that was fizzling.

For a game.

“I know.” She sighed and shook her head. “I know I’ve been a little obsessed.”

He snorted. A little?

“But you have to understand,” she said, looking up at him. “You’ve known this side of yourself—kink, BDSM, non-monogamy—for a long time now. Since college.” She shrugged. “I’ve only started figuring this all out for about a year now. I’m still learning. Still discovering.” She held her keyboard in her hands and looked up at the now paused play on the TV screen, her eyes full of Plunder’s adventure and possibility. “And to be able to watch even a part of it play out in a game like Plunder—in a mainstream, widely accepted, widely loved piece of media—and to be asked to be a part of that. A part of shaping our community’s face, our image, to the wider world…” She took a deep breath, the intimidating marvel over it clear in that small sound. She faced him, her expression set in a slight frown. “I just want to get it all right. To do it the justice it deserves.”

Max had come so far so fast—had dove into his world and carved her own place within it, making it her own—that he often forgot how new she really was to all of this. Forgot that she was still building, expanding, and growing her sense of community.

She set the keyboard on her lap and touched his knee. “But I never meant to push you away because of that.”

———

She gave a self-aware huff. She should have seen it before. Should have listened to Kat. And Peter.

She looked up at the man seated next to her, his face thoughtful. She should have listened to him. She should have seen last night as the first step toward reconnection and not the end-game solution she’d assumed it was.

She, better than most people, knew sex—no matter how good—rarely fixed relationship issues. Whatever was causing problems before the mind-shattering orgasm would likely still be there when it was done.

And this was no different. She exhaled deeply. “I know I need to learn balance.” There was an understatement. “I’m too used to being on my own, to letting myself get carried away by things.” She reached out to grab his hand, admiring the strength and grace there. “But I’m not alone anymore.” She shut her eyes and tightened her grip. “I can’t let myself get lost in my own obsessions anymore.” She frowned and set the keyboard aside. “It’s not fair and I know that.”

This had been a dumb idea. Short-sighted and selfish. She shook her head. Stupid. She moved to stand up. “I’ll put everything back.” She ought to box it all up. Uninstall the game.

She opened her eyes when she felt him reach over her. He picked up her keyboard and held it out to her.

She looked at him quizzically. But he just waved it at her until she took it from him.

He shook his head. “You’re so dramatic.” His thin lips curved in a half smile. “I’m not asking you to give it up. This isn’t an all-or-nothing, me-or-it ultimatum, Max.” He covered their entwined hands with his other hand. “For an editor, I wonder at your grasp of vocabulary sometimes.”

She shot him an irritated glance, but he just laughed. “Balance,” he said pointedly. “Where you allow time and attention for everything you want.” He leaned in and tapped her mouse, unpausing her game. “I know this is important to you. I want you to play it.” Max eyed him suspiciously, not trusting the mischievous tone in his voice. She gripped her keyboard as he moved to sit behind her. He wrapped his lean arms around her and pulled her close. “Go on, Max, play.”

She giggled nervously, sure she knew where this was headed.

Play the game, Max.

So I can play you.

She smiled. Okay, Sir. She flexed her fingers over the keys. Let’s play.

She looked up at the screen. She’d just stolen a shipment of weapons from a rival band of pirates; she ought to go back to town and sell them. She was just heading out when she felt his hands caress her waist. She shivered as his thumbs brushed the sensitive swell of her breasts. She swallowed hard.

“You’re not playing.” He sounded so smug.

She coughed and moved her mouse around aimlessly, trying to ignore the way her heart fluttered when his hands cupped her breasts. “Just, uh, trying to decide who’d offer the best price in town.”

He squeezed her breasts. “Of course. By all means,” he said as he flicked her nipples with his fingertips, “decide.”

The tavern owner always needed weapons, to protect his business and to funnel to some allied rebels. He was a good choice.

She blinked blankly as her blood began to heat. She swallowed and frowned. Now where was the tavern again?

She clenched her teeth against a moan, when he began to massage her breasts, and moved her character toward the tavern. She was just about done being cheated by the tavern owner—due to her own…negligence—when his hands began to slip south.

He touched her inner thighs, the stroke making her toes curl. “So what’s next?”

She looked at her loot level, which was lower than it should be. Head in the game, Wells. Head in the game.

Which was easier said than done, when she felt his fingers dip between the folds of her sex.

“This doesn’t really seem fair,” she said, her voice breathy. Her eyes closed at his teasing touch to her clit. His swift, sweet circles were too soft and slow to make her come, but enough to turn her on. “It’s, uh, not easy to concentrate like this.”

“Shh.” She could hear the smile in his voice. He slipped his fingers inside her, her slick arousal welcoming his touch. “This is between me and your lower half. The rest of you can do whatever you want.” He slid out of her, only to add another finger, stretching her further. She gasped and her head fell back to rest against the hard plane of his chest. “Go on, space pirate, loot the galaxy.”

She shook her head, the crown of her head brushing his skin. “This is cheating!” She groaned when he slipped his fingers from her, instantly wanting them back.

He lifted a shoulder and moved out from behind her. On his hands and knees, he looked at her with a grin. “Think if it more like trying to level up.”

She rolled her eyes and chuckled. Sure. Hard mode through sensual torture.

He crawled closer, settling between her thighs. “Think I’m kidding?”

Max only laughed harder.

Right up until he pinched her inner thigh. Max squealed and jumped, her legs instinctively pulling away from him.

He just tugged her ankles back into position, before tapping the keyboard now gripped tight in her hands. “You’re not giving up on the game, are you?”

Max fought the urge to both grin and smack him with the keyboard. Hell no, was she giving up. “Just deciding on tactics.” She just needed to regroup. She sat up and shooed him to the head of the bed, so she could lay on her stomach, facing the screen.

Resting up on her elbows, she nodded. Yes, that was better. It gave her maximum game-play maneuverability while also giving him plenty of space to play.

He smirked back at her and smoothed his hand over her thighs and ass, clearly approving. “Good.”

———

All right, Max, let’s play. He grinned before smacking her ass as he watched a rival pirate attack Max’s avatar.

“Shit.” She wriggled in his hands and furiously button-mashed, lacking her usual finesse and strategy.

Grinning, he nipped and licked and sucked his way up her calf. He chuckled as he heard the game’s grunts and groans and the simulated smack of flesh on flesh. “How about a deal?”

“Kinda busy.” She grunted along with her avatar, her gaze locked on the screen.

“Think of it as a kind of,” he said, smiling, “incentive. If you don’t win this fight, I get to take off your panties.”

“And when I win?”

“You get to keep them?”

She scoffed. “How about you give up your pants?”

“Deal.” Either way, it was a win for him. But he didn’t plan to give up anything.

She grinned as she landed a particularly good punch. “Deal.”

He grabbed her ankle and began to nibble at the sensitive skin. She squealed, letting her avatar get thrown to the side. “Damn.”

He grinned and began to make his way up her leg. She squirmed as his lips and teeth tickled her knee. He let out a chuckle at the way her avatar stood blank and unguarded against her opponent, while he pressed lingering, wet kisses up her thigh.

Her breath hitched, bringing her back to the task at hand. Grumbling, she jabbed at the keys harder. She stiffened, determination clear in every tense line of her soft body. He felt the muscles in her thigh tighten in his hands as she smacked down the enemy in relentless moves.

He frowned as he watched the pirate’s health decrease. She was going to win if he didn’t do something.

With a huff, he trailed his tongue up her inner thigh and along the vee of her legs. Her toes curled and a small, frustratedly aroused sound escaped her lips. He could smell her arousal, warm and womanly, as it built under his attentions. Her legs parted limply, welcoming him—urging him on.

“Fuck.” She growled again, before buckling down to play again, determined to ignore him.

He almost laughed—Max hated to lose just as much as he did.. But instead he bit her. Hard. The sweet flesh of her thigh soft and giving between his teeth.

She yelped. Her keyboard tumbling off the bed to the floor in a crash.

“Ow.” She laughingly kicked out, pushing him away with her foot. “That’s going to leave a bruise, you jerk.”

His smile widened at the idea of her wearing his mark. It wouldn’t be the first time. He loved it when she did. Loved to think about it. About her feeling it every time her thighs brushed as she walked. When she sat. When she cross and uncrossed those shapely legs.

He couldn’t help but laugh when she tossed her sleep shirt in his face.

He grabbed her shirt. A jerk, huh? “Tsk, tsk.” He shook his head. “Looks like you just lost, space pirate.” He stretched and twisted the cotton in his hands. “My turn to collect.”

“Look again,” she said, nodding to the screen smugly. “Sir.”

He looked up at her character, who was looting the now knocked-out rival’s pockets.

He couldn’t believe it.

She’d won.

“Biggest badass this side of the galaxy, baby.” She wiggled her butt triumphantly. Enticingly. He stared at that lush, round behind shake. “So where’s my reward, huh?” She held out her hand. “Pants, please. Now.”

He sighed. A deal was a deal.

But that still left a lot of wiggle room. He grinned before grabbing her hands and pulling them behind her back. He cinched the shirt around her wrists at the small of her back in a messy knot that likely wouldn’t hold up to much struggle, but he liked the image of that shirt binding her.

“Uh, sir,” she pointed out, raising an indulgent eyebrow, “this isn’t what we agreed on.”

He grabbed a pillow and lifted her hips so he could slide it beneath them. Damn, her ass was round and full and thrust up just for him. He leaned down and nipped at one sweet cheek, the cream-colored curve of it revealed by those sea-green panties. Beautiful. Just beautiful.

He shrugged, touching the foam-colored fabric. “You’re still wearing your panties.” He pushed the bit of lace aside, baring her wet sex to his gaze. God, she smelled fantastic. Fragrant heat wafted from her, making him feel crazed. He leaned over to dig into the bedside drawer for a condom before he tore at his pants and freed his cock. “And my pants,” he said as he stepped out of them and tossed them on the bed next to her, “as requested.”

She just laughed until he slipped on the latex and slid deep inside her, making her moan as her wet pussy hugged him tight.

On a groan, he fisted the knotted shirt, holding her wrists still as he thrust within her. He felt her push back against him, her ass bumping and bouncing against his hips. He stared at their bodies, joined in a hot, slick, frantic dance. Fuck. It was so hot.

Her breaths came out in short, fast pants as pleasure pushed her toward orgasm. He felt her body squeeze him tighter, pull him deeper. He gripped her hip and began to thrust harder, the sound and feel of her arousal feeding and fueling his own.

She threw her head back on a gasp as her body tensed, her orgasm overtaking her. He felt her pussy clench his dick in a silken pulse. Groaning, he ground his hips against hers, loving the snug heat of her body, as his own climax hit him, plunging him into pleasure as he poured himself inside her.

For a moment, they lay there locked together on the bed, neither quite willing to give up the feel of the other. Until, in a sweat-soaked slump, he collapsed onto the mattress next to her.

Still breathing hard, she rolled onto her side. She wiggled her wrists free from her makeshift, cottony restraint. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she kissed him before smiling at him cheekily. “If that’s your idea of losing, Sir,” she told him, “I can’t wait to play again.”

He chuckled and held her tighter, feeling her fit him in every possible way. He shut his eyes and took a deep breath, grateful to have found someone like her.

 


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Tuesday, September 24, 2013

The Deviant Nerd - The Limits of Hard Limits

The Limits of Hard Limits
The Deviant Nerd
Brought to you by The Roles We Play, a Donovan's Door collection that explores roles, identity, and pleasure.


Question: Hey Pip!

So I just had a BDSM scene with a new top that went wrong and don’t know what to do about it. Before we began, when we were talking about limits, I told him that I was fine with being spanked, flogged, and beaten, but I didn’t want to break skin. I hate blood—just the sight of it makes me sick—and I’m paranoid about anyone at my job or normal life seeing marks or scars, which is why breaking skin is a hard-no for me. 

But, during the scene, while the top was beating me with a knotted flogger, everything was great until he broke skin. The second I felt blood on my upper shoulder, I told him to stop. He did and apologized, but I was still pissed that he broke skin on my shoulder—a place where I’ll have to wear high-backed shirts to cover it until it heals—after I specifically asked him not to. 

He keeps trying to call me, asking me why I won’t talk to him, which just makes me madder. It’s like the kinky equivalent of a hickey! It’s infuriating that I have to worry about hiding the marks just because he couldn’t be more careful.

I want to call him and yell at him, but I don’t know what to tell him. What should I say?

 – Hard-No Means No

———   

Pip: Hey Hard-No,

Honestly, Hard-No, if I were you, I’d call him back, thank him, and apologize. Here’s why.

First off, massive props and enthusiastic back-pats for you and the top for negotiating limits beforehand. It’s always a good idea to get to know where each other’s limits are before the toy bag is ever brought out. 

Because everyone’s got ’em. And well they should. Limits are good things to have. As humans, we work well with limits and boundaries.

But, here’s the thing, we all have to choose our limits wisely.

Hard limits are limits that are non-negotiable. These are things that can end scenes and even relationships. Which means they have to be controllable.

In BDSM, you can have the hard limit of no water sports fairly easily. Don’t piss on me. It’s hard to go through the normal course of a scene and—Opps!—pee on someone. Same thing goes for penetrative sex (Opps! I spanked your ass a little too hard with my cock?). Cutting (Opps! I picked up my knife thinking it was a flogger?). Spanking (Opps! That’s not rope.). Rope and restraints (Opps! That’s not spanking.). Kink is a wide and varied world and you can avoid a lot of things very easily.

Breaking skin on the other hand...

Breaking skin is usually not the goal in kink, but it’s a reasonable risk you run, especially if you’re into heavy sensation play like flogging and beating. And, from your description, it doesn’t sound like there was a lot of damage and he stopped when you asked him to. There’s actually not a whole lot more a top can do than that.

And, I get it, you made a point that to tell him that you didn’t want marks that broke skin but, as the bottom, it was your responsibility—more than anyone’s—to make sure that your limits were respected. It’s an admirable trait and the ultimate goal for a top to be able to read their bottoms perfectly, but that’s something that comes with time, experience, and lots of joint play together as partners. It’s not something that anyone has the right to expect in their first scene together. 

As the bottom, you know the type of play you like, you know what your body can and cannot take, and only you know when something happening in the scene feels good and when it doesn’t, so you have to be the one with your foot on the BDSM break. You have to be your own advocate because it’s a bad idea to expect someone else to be because, even under the best circumstances, no one can read you better than you can.

And, if breaking skin and leaving marks is a hard limit for you, that means you should never have been playing with a knotted flogger or asking to be beaten. A hard limit like that is going to drastically change your style of play. In order, to fully, 100% guarantee that no kind of injury is caused, you have to agree to keeping it fairly light. Which is doable and common; the likelihood of drawing blood from light BDSM play is really slim. 

But, with light play, chances are good you won’t be playing with toys capable of drawing blood. Chances are also really good that you won’t be engaging in play that involves hitting, striking, whipping, flogging, or anything that has the chance of drawing blood. Your play will look completely different than the kind of play that accepts breaking skin and drawing some amount of blood as an expectable risk. 

Like you, I’m not a fan of blood—I don’t even like to see it in the movies—so, yeah, purposefully intending to draw blood is a hard limit for me. I don’t do blood play. I don’t do knife play. I’m good about gauging exactly where my limits are so, I'll stop or pause scenes if I think skin might have broken. 

But I’ve had skin break. I’ve had blood drawn. It happens. It is a risk that I accept in order to do the intense impact play that I love. 

To act as if one can enjoy kink without risk is a little ridiculous. Part of what makes kink fun—what makes it kink—is that it carries some amount of risk. That’s part of its charge.  If all risk is erased, if you’ve controlled and sanitized it to the point of complete safety, you’ve taken kink to a place past vanilla. Because if I’m asking to be beaten but I can’t accept even the possibility of blood, one has to wonder, do I know the meaning of the word “beaten?” 

You can’t actually have both. Can’t be beaten—can’t enjoy the experience of it—without also accepting at least the possibility of damage. You can mitigate how much. You can put in place safety nets and fail safes to minimize risk. And everyone really should; it’s why we play by SSC (Safe, Sane, Consensual) and RAC (Risk-Aware, Consensual) rules. But, in order to completely eliminate the possibility of your hard limit about breaking skin, you have to accept that “being beaten” has become a default hard limit.

And to set such a limit but still engage consensually in play that involves that risk and then blame the other person involved when that risk is realized, that’s irresponsible, illogical, and mean. You consented. You accepted your hard limit as an acceptable risk by consenting. When an expectable risk happens, you are now partially to blame. You actually hold most of the blame. Because it was your limit, it was your risk, and you still—with full-knowledge and fully informed-consent—went through with it. 

How is this all someone else’s fault?

Let’s take my favorite example. A week before my friend’s wedding, I went to Donovan’s “Flights of Fancy” play party. I hadn’t intended to play much that night. I was mostly there for atmosphere and social time. But there was a hot, completely drool-worthy Dom there who liked to play rough. So I played. I’d told him that I didn’t want marks because I was about to go to wedding in a strapless dress (hard limit established). But, as we played, we both got really into it and lost our heads (mitigating event). So the play got rougher and rougher and in places where marks would be seen (hard limit broken). And at no time did I stop him (missed window). In fact, I encouraged it (my fault). Which meant I ended up with bruises and marks all over my body (screwed). I remember him apologizing to me afterward, saying that he got caught up in the moment (takes responsibility) and I told him I got caught up too (also takes responsibility) and that it was fine, that I’d figure out some way to work it out. So bought a new dress, made plans to play with the hot Dom again sometime when I didn’t have a wedding to go to a week later, and thought the whole experience well worth the additional cost.

 – Pip, Your Resident Deviant Nerd


* If you have a sex, kink, love, or life question for The Deviant Nerd, email Pip at PipJones.DeviantNerd@gmail.com. 
And read more about Pip’s story in Brought to You By.


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Thursday, September 12, 2013

Plunder - Solo Mission


PLUNDER

PART ONE - SOLO MISSION

Hayato looked up when Max Wells suddenly spouted an inventive string of impressive curses, punctuated by the clicking clack of her fingers on the keyboard. She typed in a flurry of commands, staring at her computer screen with a fury that would terrify most people.

But not him. The first time he’d seen her, Max’s face had been set in those determined, aggressive lines, and he’d fallen for her. Hard. And never looked back.

So he just smiled and sat back on their new leather couch, only half-heartedly skimming the business law contract in his hands. They’d finally unpacked everything in their new condo that, while still strange — neither of them historically sharing their space well with others — was starting to feel like home.

“Really, Richards?” he heard Max say snarkily at her screen before she reached back to tighten the hold she had her wild, red hair in. She stretched her fingers then began to type heatedly. “You’re going to bed now? We’re so close to finding the treasure.”

The lawyer turned and looked at the clock on their wall.

1:30am.

No wonder his attention was wandering so much. He’d been up since 5:30am and needed to be up even earlier tomorrow. He yawned. “Max, you ready for bed?”

“Sure, sure.” She waved one hand at him behind her back, not even looking away from the screen, while the other still typed. “Be right up; just gotta finish one more thing.”

He rolled his eyes. He’d been hearing that phrase for the past two and a half weeks. He shook his head and started up the stairs. When Max got into something, she sunk her teeth in. And Plunder 4 was a hell of a meal.

He’d played the original game a bit when Peter first picked it up, but he wasn’t much for video games and hardly ever had time to invest in them.

Not that he would have pegged Max as a gamer either. She wasn’t. But B.D. Cooper, the game’s developer, had decided to publish a series of Plunder novels through Elysia. And, being admirably thorough, Max had picked up and played through the most recent incarnation in preparation and quickly become enthralled.

Plunder, with its expansive world and rich storylines filled with randy space pirates going on adventures and quests that ranged from the quirky to the epic, was perfect for Max, who couldn’t help but love a good story. But, of course, what had hooked her was the band of characters in the game, a diverse and unique group not often seen in traditional media. As much fun as Max was having playing intergalactic Robin Hood, her obsession was running through all the romance options in the game. She’d been raving and gushing over the honest and respectful representation of characters of color, LGBTQIA+ characters, and even and especially kinksters of all kinds.

It was, in fact, the reason B.D. had chosen Elysia, who was swiftly becoming the most literate and celebrated name in erotic kink literature written by and for real-life kinksters. Because, as she’d told Max, “Plunder just wouldn’t be Plunder if I had to tone anything down to appease some publisher.”

Max couldn’t have agreed more. And she was more than excited to help explore more of the relationship plot lines that the game just didn’t quite have time for.

And, while he was happy for her — after all, as an Asian kinkster in an interracial, open relationship with a woman still exploring her newly discovered kinky side, how could he hate the game or her desire to promote it — he sighed.

He missed Max.

And he shouldn’t.

They were living together; how could he miss her?

After a lot of discussion, they’d finally decided to move in with each other in hopes that, despite both their busy schedules, they’d be able to spend more time together.

Funny, he thought while he undressed and climbed into their brand new, hardly broken in bed, we spent more time together when we were living apart.

And it wasn’t just sex or companionship that he missed. They were in an open relationship; he could easily spend time with Pip or Reena. He could spend time at Donovan’s. He could meet-up with friends, like Peter or Rand.

And he’d done that over the past few weeks. Only to stop when it felt too much like a replacement for what he really wanted.

Max.

Which didn’t feel fair or right. So he’d gone home and wondered when Max would find time for him.

He groaned and tossed about in the bed. Didn’t that sound pathetic?

Pulling the covers over himself, he wondered if this was simply what living with a person meant. After all, it wasn’t as if he had much experience in the area. Not since he and Peter shared a dorm room in college, which had been, of course, completely different. How was he supposed to know?

Of course, he’d heard people say that large commitments, like marriage or moving in with a partner, often led to complacency. Was that all this was? After all, they couldn’t exactly treat every night at home as if it were date night. It’s not as if they could stay in the honeymoon period of their relationship, where she’d teased him in lacy teddies and barely there negligees. Where he’d spent all night worshipping her body. He understood that there was always bound to be a certain amount of settling down as you settled in.

But, imagining Max in her worn-out college sleep shirt battling space pirates, he worried that it might be more.

Turning on his side to stare at the empty half of the large bed, he frowned and wondered if maybe Max wasn’t so much throwing herself into work as she was avoiding him. After all, it wasn’t as if her job required her to play the game. It was her choice to spend every night for weeks downstairs curled up in her computer chair rather than with him.

Closing his eyes, he let out a huff. After getting a taste of cohabitation, was Max regretting her choice?

———

Kat Valdez-Richards stabbed her chicken breast before slicing off a piece. “I swear to God, Max,” she warned, waving the bite-sized parmesan at her friend, “if you don’t stop playing that stupid game with Peter, I will never speak to you again.”

“It’s not stupid.” Max rolled her eyes. Plunder had one of the most well-developed and immersive plots she’d ever seen. She’d never have expected to find a story of that quality in a video game. “I wouldn’t have pitched so hard for the series, if I didn’t believe in the franchise.” She chewed a bit. “I was actually hoping that you might be interested in helping B.D. with her manuscript. She’s used to writing in script-format, but could use a little help with the prose.”

Kat turned her nose and scoffed. “I am not helping that woman. At the moment, I don’t really feel like helping you.”

Max slanted her friend an indulgent look. “You’re in a mood today.”

“Because for the past who-knows-how-long I’ve had to beg, badger, and practically tear Peter away from his computer to get laid.” She grumbled and chewed her chicken. “All he seems to care about now is Plunder.” She jutted out her jaw in a pout. “Used to be he was more concerned about…” She shook her head.

“Plundering you.” Max snickered.

“About everything,” Kat said. “He’s supposed to be looking for new office locations now that his business is expanding. We’re supposed to be researching new cars, since mine is on its last legs. And, yes, I’d like to have sex with my husband without feeling like I spend half-an-hour nagging beforehand.” She scowled at her friend. “It kinda spoils the mood, you know.” She shook her head. “What does Hayato think of all this? He can’t be happy about all your late night raids.”

Sir? Max shrugged. “He hasn’t said anything to me.” And, well, before they moved in with each other, they’d only seen each other a couple of nights a week anyway. Now at least they almost always ate dinner together and woke up together and headed out to work together. What did it matter that they didn’t necessarily go to sleep together? Did it really matter that they didn’t lie unconscious next to each other for the exact same amount of time?

If they did at all. Max frowned. Last night, she’d fallen asleep on the couch next to her desk only to wake up and play a bit more before she left for work.

“You should watch out.” Kat took a sip with a knowing look in her eye. “If you’re not careful, he’ll do something drastic like disable your computer or wipe your game history or something.”

Max gaped. “He wouldn’t dare.”

Kat gave a humorless laugh. “I’d have done it already, but Peter’s the one who would know how to do all that without damaging anything.” She shrugged. “But, if this keeps going, I’m just going to take a bat to the whole system.”

Max snorted. “Not getting any makes you mean, lady.”

Kat shrugged. “Okay, maybe not that, but something has to change. Maybe some kind of curfew or something.”

“Curfew?”

“Sure.” Kat gripped her glass and took small sips, thinking. “Some rule like ‘sex starts at midnight, with or without you. After that, I lock the bedroom door and we’re both on our own for the night.’ It’s not like we don’t have enough toys.”

“And what about Peter?” Max fought the urge to laugh. Kat’s husband might be a friend now, but a fickle part of her was giddy at the idea of him getting cock-blocked by a curfew.

Kat sniffed. “If he can’t make it up to bed in time, it’s not like we don’t also have enough pillows for him to be quite comfortable on the couch.”

Max couldn’t help but laugh at that.

Kat gave her a superior look. “You should be careful too, before Hayato lays down his own rules.”

Max rolled her eyes and took a sip of her own drink. “I don’t think I have to worry about that. Pretty sure I could wake him up at any time, ask him if he wanted to have sex, and the answer’s always going to be yes.”

Kat laughed agreeably before changing topics. Max nodded and ate, trying not to think about the worry now spreading through her mind.

Yes, she was sure that he would say yes, if she asked him for sex. But he wasn’t exactly complaining, even though she couldn’t really remember the last time they’d had sex — not in the last week, certainly, but surely in the last month, right around the move, right? — much less losing his mind over it like Kat. Hell, he wasn’t even asking for it.

What did that mean?

Maybe sex didn’t matter as much now that they’d moved in together.

It wasn't like they had to plan and pencil it in around early morning meetings or late night office hours like they did before the move.

They could have sex whenever they wanted now.

She’d just gotten a little distracted.

There’d be time to make up for it all, after she finished the game.

She was sure of it.

———

Max waited for her game to load to her last save point. She’d failed her last mission twice now. She needed Peter — he was better with the healers than she was and she was getting her ass handed to her — but he hadn’t logged in yet. She looked at her clock. It was way past his and Kat’s usual dinner hour. Even if they’d gone out to dinner or if work had run a little long, he should have been online by now. Where was he?

She looked at her sad, sad loot level. If she wanted a third attempt at the mission, she’d have to get more coins first. Maybe she ought to double back and do a few smaller heists or find a settlement to trade with. With a sigh, she turned her ship around.

She was finishing up a trade deal with an allied settlement when she saw Peter log on.

Finally!

She messaged him. Where the hell have you been?

There was a pause before he responded. I had to wait until Kat fell asleep.

Max raised an eyebrow. Why?

Curfew.

Max literally laughed out loud. She actually did it! Max couldn’t believe it. And you fell for it.

She could almost hear him grumble in his typed response. I didn’t really get a choice. Plunder is great, but I’m not about to give up sex over it.

She shook her head and smiled. You are so whipped.

Hey, Kat’s upstairs, happy and exhausted, and I’m here now. Put me to work before I tell Hayato to enact his own curfew.

Max laughed. Whatever. He’s prepping for mediation tomorrow. Maybe you and Kat don’t, Mr. Big Bad Dom, but we know who really holds the handle in this relationship. And Max Wells, Plundress of the Galaxy, was never whipped.

Metaphorically, anyway.

She sat up straighter. Newly flush with loot, she began to fill in Peter about the mission and what she needed him to do to complete it.

They were about half-way through the mission — stealing private sector stores of food, medicine, and weapons that were being diverted from poorer, rural outposts to an overly opulent government delegate meeting — when she saw the message.

All it said was From Sir right above a counter ticking down the seconds. Fifteen minutes. He was giving her fifteen minutes.

She smirked at the cheeky tactic. So Sir was feeling bossy, huh? She couldn’t tell yet if that made her feel rebellious or like rewarding his assertiveness with compliance.

She snickered and shook her head. Sir.

It was their running joke-that-was-not-quite-a-joke. A titular nickname that held only the meaning they gave it from moment to moment. That granted him all the power and control she decided to give him.

She knew there were people who gave the title more formality — more significance and weight — just as she knew there were people who scoffed at or looked down at or were even offended by it, but it worked for them. In their own way, it fit the roles they inhabited. That they lived and loved by.

It signified that he was special to her — the only man she’d ever allow to get bossy with her and only because he knew how to make it worth her while. Which, in turn, strangely made her feel special too.

Which, of course, didn’t mean that she couldn’t make him work for it.

Fifteen minutes, huh? Cockily, she sent back a message. Until what exactly?

The only response that came back was a new counter. With three minutes shaved off of the original time.

Well, then, aye, aye, sir. Message received.

Looked like she had her own dwindling curfew to worry about.

A part of her — the contrary, rebellious part — wanted to scoff at the restriction. She was a fully grown adult; no one told her when bedtime was. Much less some guy looking to get laid.

Except…well, getting laid sounded pretty good. They hadn’t had sex in a while and, now that she’d thought about it — realized how long it’d really been — she missed it. Wanted it.

But she still had her mission.

Max bit her lip and looked back at her game. Frowning thoughtfully, she shrugged. She could finish her mission in that time, she was sure of it.

It’d taken some creative manipulation of resources and players, but she and Peter had all but cleaned out the sector’s supplies and were dropping them off at the outpost — for a healthy cut of the booty — just as the counter’s timer went off.

Hecks yeah.

Feeling like an intergalactic boss, she collected her share of the raid and saved her game. After shutting down her game, she headed to bed. It was time to collect her reward for a raid well done.

She tilted her head when she saw that the bedroom door was closed. They never closed doors. They’d both lived alone too long and were too comfortable with each other’s bodies to get in the habit of closing doors. So a shut bedroom door confused her.

With him, everything held meaning. Every tone and word and action could speak volumes. It just wasn’t always clear what was being said.

She turned the knob.

The room was dim with just the far bedside lamp lit. She blinked in the doorway when she saw him. Lying in the middle of the bed. Naked. With his hand on his cock. His eyes — a natural dark brown with his usually blue-colored contacts out for the night — were almost completely closed and his head was tossed back on the pillows. Fair strands fell stray and loose from the top bun twisted at the crown of his head. His luxuriously golden skin looked lustrous in the lamplight.

Well, hello, sir.

He was so gorgeous. Unlike anyone she’d ever met or would ever meet in her life. Looking at him was like unwrapping a gift or discovering hidden treasure. Her eyes widened while she watched his hand move up and down his hard shaft.

“You like to look.”

Max glanced up. He turned to lean on his side, so he faced her. Studied her really.

She nodded thoughtfully even as her gaze slipped south to his hard length jutting upward against his taut middle. She swallowed hard. It was a good show. “I’d like to join.” She moved to strip off her old college t-shirt and walk toward the bed.

He held up his hand to stop her. Reflexively, she did, curious to see what game he was playing. “Take off just the shirt,” he said, his gaze narrowing on the comfortably stretched-out, worn-thin cotton covering her breasts, “then take a seat at the end of the bed.”

She quirked her eyebrow at the small patch of duvet he pointed to at the opposite end of the bed. Okay. Weird, but all right. She tugged the sleep shirt over her head and draped it over the back of a chair. “Okay, now what?”

He sat up a bit, so he could lean back against the headboard. “Now watch.”

She raised an eyebrow. “Just watch?”

He grabbed his sex in his hand. “If you’d wanted to do more, you’d have made it to bed on-time.”

She checked her phone. “I couldn’t have been more than three minutes late.”

“Late,” he pointed out, “being the operative word.” He tsked and settled back in the comforter. “I sent you a clock and everything.”

“So I can only watch?” She shook her head. What kind of game was he playing?

He lifted a shoulder casually, but she could see his eyes fire as he gripped his dick again. “You could always give me something to look at too.”

She grinned and rolled her eyes. Give a lawyer a loophole… How typical!

Fine.

She couldn’t touch him; that didn’t mean she couldn’t get him to touch her.

With that thought in mind, her smile widened and she got comfortable. “You want to look too, huh?” She cupped her breasts, heavy and full, in her hands.

Then look. Sir.

She brushed her thumbs over her nipples, feeling the rosy tips tighten. She sucked in a breath and did it again, the touch burning within her. She squeezed one full breast in her hand while she continued to tease and stroke her other peak.

“Pinch your nipple.”

She smiled. He loved to watch her pink flesh flush a deep, dusky rouge with sensual abuse. She saw his grip tense when she moaned and writhed a bit on the blankets.

“Yeah.” His voice sounded breathy and hot. “You like that, don’t you?”

She nodded and squeezed harder. “I see you do too.”

“I do.” His face flushed hot in the low light. “Twist.”

Her breath hitched and she felt her breasts shake with the harsh jerk. She felt the sensitive skin of her nipple stretch and the blood rush beneath her finger’s pinch. Her eyes fluttered shut as sensation shot through her. She breathed through it before massaging her tender flesh in sweet, soothing motions.

“Are you wet?”

She tilted her head and looked at him. “Do you want me to see?”

“Yes.” The word was a hiss.

Fine. She tucked a hand down beneath the waistband of the pajama bottoms she was wearing. She slid her hand down to stroke the soft, swollen folds between her legs. “Mmmm.” She continued to rub along her labia. “Very.”

“Let me see.”

She grinned and tsked. “What do I get out of it?” She began to play with her nipple again.

“I’m letting you see mine;” he said, letting his hand lingeringly play along his hard length, “only fair I get to see yours.”

She almost laughed aloud. “If you’d really wanted more, sir,” she said, echoing his earlier words while she spread her legs more, offering him a better view of her cotton-blocked tease, “you’d have asked me to take off my pants.”

He chuckled, the sound low and luring. “Fair enough.” He shifted to sit up a bit more. “Then, if you won’t let me see, tell me. Describe it.”

She sent him an amused look. He wanted her to dirty talk about touching herself? She pursed her lips and thought about it. Okay, she could do that. “My sex is so slick I can feel it drip warm and thick over my skin.”

“Are you getting the bed wet?” His hand began to move faster.

“Yes.” She could feel her arousal soak through her pants; it must be staining the covers.

“What else?”

She coated her finger with her heat and began to stroke her sex. “I can feel my clit, hard and needy against my fingertip.” She panted, the words broken by her breath. “I can feel each touch like a lick of fire, starting in my belly and spreading all over.”

“More.”

She looked up and met his gaze, the dark brown of his eyes feeling almost like a stranger’s after more than a year of his usual contact-colored blue. It made her feel keenly watched. Exposed. Naked. “I can see you watching me. Can feel your eyes on my body like a touch.”

“Does it make you hot?”

It shouldn’t. Not when it felt so unfamiliar. “Yes.” Because, as strange as it may feel, here with her Sir, it also felt safe. Riding an edge that, with him, she knew well. “Yes.”

“Does looking at me make you hot?”

Always. She bit her lip and nodded, not trusting the words to feel right on her lips. She wanted to touch him. Wanted him to touch her. She wanted to take him and be taken. Staring into the need in his dark, deep, walnut-colored eyes, she needed him. She nodded, feeling her teeth ravage her silent mouth.

“Say it.”

She shook her head and pursed her lips tight.

“Tell me.”

She shut her eyes and bent her knees. Her feet flexed hard against the pleasure threatening to overtake her, even as her hands continued to play hurried havoc over her body.

“Max.” His voice, so musical and almost pretty, reached inside her and tugged at her will. “Look at me.”

She shook her head again.

“Look at me and I’ll let you have an extra half hour of Plunder tomorrow.”

She shouldn’t have, but she laughed and opened her eyes.

Yep, she really shouldn’t have.

She felt her control slip, the second she saw him. Beautifully tense, every muscle in his lean body pulled taut. His arousal-flushed skin was slick with a sheen of sweat. And his cock thrust, insistent and hard, in his hand, was held in a tight fist. He was on that same edge with her. And about to fall off.

Fuck.

She felt her body peak on a sharp breath, everything within her seeming to lurch as pleasure tore through her. Her head fell back and she moaned, her back arching and her mind going blank even while her hands kept on in adoring torment.

She heard his echoing groan, a shuttering sound, and felt the bed rock beneath her as he writhed.

She smiled. Maybe there was something to this curfew thing. Cause that was definitely worth getting into bed for.


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Tuesday, September 3, 2013

The Deviant Nerd - Slippery Roles

Slippery Roles
The Deviant Nerd
Brought to you by Give to Me, a short story that keeps it hot on a frozen night.



Question: Hey Pip,

When I was in college, I dated an older, submissive guy who introduced me to the scene. I wasn’t really into the whole Domme/sub thing, but he really was and I wanted to make him happy, so I did it for him. And, while I never got all that into the kink side of things, I really liked the people I met in the community and made some really good friends. 

But, shortly after I graduated, the older guy and I broke up. Then I started to date another submissive guy I’d met in the kink scene. And then another guy. And another guy. 

Now it seems like, even when I try to not date kinky guys—like the guys I meet online or through non-kinky friends—I keep ending up with submissive guys looking for a Dominant woman. 

Which is fine, I guess. I mean, I always like the guys as people. We get along and have tons in common. And a part of me really likes the fact that these guys are not only not put off by how pushy and demanding I can be but really like it, which is something that I know can get on some people’s nerves.

It’s just that they keep asking me to do all these things—BDSM, foot fetish stuff, role play, whatever—and, because I like them and want them to like me, I do it. Even though…I don’t get anything out of it.

And, lately, it just feels weird and annoying and even resentful. Like putting on a mask or a costume that doesn’t really fit right. Like I have to step out of myself in order to be the person I know they want me to be.

Like I said, I like the guys I see—they’ve all been really great otherwise—but sometimes it seems like I’m not the one they really want. They want the Domme in the mask. Which is fine, I guess; I can be that girl. It’s just…is it really so much to ask to be wanted for the girl beneath the mask? Can’t I just be enough?

 – Could Be Kinky

———

Pip: Hey Could Be,

I’m going to be honest with you. I think you could be a kinky Dominatrix—you’ve proven that you have the ability to do it and, considering the men you attract, I’d be willing to guess that you have a pretty dominant personality—but I don’t think that you are. Not really.

You see, there is a world of difference between a dominant personality and a Domme, just as there’s a difference between a passive person and a sub. Your boss may have risen to their ranks by being assertive, aggressive, and go-getting. They’re a dominant personality. However, if your boss wielded a flogger or ordered your coworkers to shine their boots or bow at their feet...I'm thinking Human Resources would need to have a long talk with them about the long list of worker complaints. A passive friend may let you decide what restaurant you’re both going to eat at or say nothing when someone calls them a name, but I’m doubting that they’ll enjoy letting you spank them until your hand’s red or tie them up in a frog tie or pierce them with needles.

There are certainly aspects of BDSM that exist or crossover into real life—power play, humiliation, restraint, pain—but they look different, sound different, mean something different when you apply them to BDSM.

You say you’re bossy, demanding, and dominant and that’s great, but that doesn’t actually make you a Domme. It doesn’t even sound like you really want to be one. You talk about being a Domme as if it’s something you’re obligated to do, like it’s your job, not a part of who you are. For you, it’s a mask you pull on and off, according to the desires of the guys you’re with. 

Which really isn’t a good reason to do it. 

If you’re doing kink for any other reason than that you want and need to do it to feel fulfilled, you shouldn’t be doing it. It’s unhealthy to do so, for everyone involved.

Often, we talk about the roles in BDSM being something that we can put on and take off. That we can step into and step out of. And that is true. In a practical sense. BDSM is highly stylized, highly dramatized, highly intensified play. You can’t do it 24/7. It would tire you and stress you out past the breaking point fast. Because the world isn’t built to sustain a 24/7 BDSM role. No one can be Dominant all the time, in complete control, without doubt; the first, last, and only word on everything. Just as no one can be submissive all the time; you have to think on your own and put yourself first sometimes. 

A kinky person wants a partner who can slip into that headspace as well as slip out of it when appropriate. Who can be a fully functional person in the real world as well as a freaking awesome partner in the crazy, sexy times. But, even though the roles come off and on at will, the inherent kinkiness—the ability to slip in and out—is permanent.  

As—if not a Domme—a kinkster, I can’t imagine not being so. It’s not something that’s always at the forefront of my personality or life, anymore than being of color or female or middle-class or a podcaster or a college grad is. But all those things, even if they aren’t the dominant force of me at the time, if they’re not the thing I’m thinking about or acting upon at that specific moment, all make up who I am. I can’t not be those things. They touch everything that I am and everything that I do.

To pretend to be otherwise would be damaging. I could, like a gay person acting straight, live a completely vanilla life. I could even be happy doing so, find some kind of contentment in it. But I wouldn’t be fulfilled. There would be a missing part of me. A part that would long for it. That would lament its lack. There would always be moments and parts of my life where I would be faking it. Faking happiness. Faking contentment. Faking that that was enough for me.

The reverse is true too. A vanilla person faking kink... People do it. They quite admirably do it for their kinky partners because faking interest in this is worth doing—is a gift worth giving—to make the people they love happy. People even fake it until they make it, waking up one day and finding that, through the faking, somehow they’ve become kinky. 

But you’ve been doing this for what sounds like a long time and you’ve never found it satisfying. You want a relationship where the roles don’t exist, where you don’t have to wear that mask. 

And you can and should have that. 

There is an inconceivably larger amount of non-kinky men out there than there are kinky men. If you want a vanilla man to be vanilla with, you can have that. They’re everywhere. 

Except for where you’re looking. 

You said you found several guys through the community. You say you’ve tried to date online and through vanilla friends; were you doing so as a woman who has historically dated kinky men? 

If so, stop. 

You shouldn’t be advertising as kinky to snare a vanilla guy and you really shouldn’t be looking in the kink community for a vanilla partner. It would be like leaving the US to go to Sweden to search for the perfect American man. There are easier ways to do this. Go on vanilla sites, write up a vanilla profile, and look for vanilla guys. 

Because, while you can be kinky and have been in the past, Could Be, you don’t have to be, if it’s not what you want. There are men who will want you for who you are without the masks and costumes, but only if you stop slipping on roles you already know don’t fit.

– Pip, Your Resident Deviant Nerd




* If you have a sex, kink, love, or life question for The Deviant Nerd, email Pip at PipJones.DeviantNerd@gmail.com. 

And read more about Pip’s story in Brought to You By.



Monday, September 2, 2013

Chapter Twenty-Seven: Evolving Views (The End)

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CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN: EVOLVING VIEWS

“Excuse me?” The look of pure cheated shock paling his sharply sculpted face, if nothing else, was well worth the request.

And though she knew she would pay for it later, she beamed brattishly. “You heard me.”

She almost laughed out loud when his face fell into a frustrated frown. He moved to cross his arms over his chest. “That’s not a fair request,” he pointed out. “And you know it.”

She did know it.

In the little striptease game they were playing, the request was the equivalent of bringing a gun to a knife fight. It was dirty. And underhanded.

“But it plays by the rules,” she stated. To the letter.

For a long moment they stared at each other silently, neither one willing to budge.

Max crossed her arms over her chest as well. She wasn’t giving on this. She wanted it too much. If he wanted to play, this time they would play by her rules.

For Christ’s sake, she’d never seen him naked.

He’d certainly seen her nude, many times now. But the closest she’d come was seeing him roll his shirt sleeves up enclosed behind glass, like some caged creature or piece of art on display.

She intended to rectify that. Right now.

They’d done so much together—in many ways, she felt as if she’d been more intimate with him than she’d been with anyone else, more open, more honest—but they’d skipped over so many of the traditional, standard steps of a relationship.

And, though she hadn’t felt as if they’d needed to take that cookie-cutter route—that their particular relationship would probably never have been possible if confined to the conventional modern mating dance—there was something to be said about taking on the standard steps in an unexpected way.

Besides, just because she hadn’t missed them at the time didn’t mean that she didn’t ever want to do them. The very variety he so prized—that she very much enjoyed too—included everything, even the everyday.

After all, some things became tradition for a reason.

“You still game?” she asked him, teasing him, provoking him.

She saw his jaw tense a second before he tilted his head, his eyes scanning the mirrors. And the people who were undoubtedly peering in unseen through the glass.

Oh yeah.

She’d almost forgotten about them.

Strangely, it didn’t bother her. It ought to have. It should have made her nervous. After everything she’d just been through, it should have made her feel vulnerable. Exposed. Naked.

But she knew the people on the other side. Kat. Rand. Hallie. Peter. They were friends. She trusted them. And though it didn’t really make sense to her, having them there made her feel safe. Brazen, even.

So, she sidled up close to him, letting her fingers trail along his suit coat’s lapels. Leaning forward, she gave him a tempting view of her breasts, displayed in her beautiful blue bra that molded itself to and lifted her curves. Pouting, she slid her hands lower down his chest and asked, “Don’t you want to play?”

“Take off your bra.” His voice was a strangled rasp while his gaze centered covetously on her barely covered breasts. “I do this,” he said harshly, not looking away, barely blinking, “and you take off your bra.”

Max sucked in a shocked breath when she saw the tether on his control slip. Her pulse raced and she pressed her palms to his chest, the knowledge of having so much power in her hands a thrilling rush. She bit her lip, a shiver of excitement shooting through her. She nodded.

Without warning, he lurched forward aggressively, forcing Max back in surprise. He jerked off his coat with sharp, violent motions.

Max stepped back when the motivated man stood, shucking his coat and shirt efficiently. Her eyes widened as he revealed his sun-kissed form. Out of his clothes and bared before her, up close and available for her inspection, he was…thin.

Kind of skinny, to be honest.

His arms were lean, sinewy, seeming too long and bony. She could see his ribs, gentle juts along an almost girlish waist. His taut, teak skin stretched over a completely flat stomach, solid but undefined.

While all his suits were tailored to fit him perfectly—to sculpt strong shoulders and emphasize the breadth of his chest—out of them, he seemed smaller. Less intimidating. Like a warrior stripped of all his defenses.

And, while she should have been disappointed—disillusioned, maybe—all she really wanted to do was touch him. It was like seeing the heart of him. The parts he kept hidden.

And she was a woman who knew the value of shields.

She understood the trust it took—the strength it took—to lower them. For her.

It—he—was beautiful.

He was built like the basics of a man. Meant for function and efficiency, if not design and aesthetics. Every angle and edge of his body served a purpose; nothing about him existed just for show. He wasn’t a pretty man. Not gym-made or manufactured or molded. But he was capable. Of just about anything, she knew. And that ability showed in every honed inch of him.

Even his lake-like eyes and honey-hued hair, so obviously artificial, had come to suit him. Had, through the course of her knowing him, become a natural extension of him. As odd as she’d found it when she’d first met him—thinking him some anime wannabe—she honestly couldn’t imagine him any other way.

He was a man meant to make an impression. You weren’t likely to forget him.

Which she supposed was precisely the point. There were few things more impressive than someone who was more myth than man. That made the impossible look possible. That could make the ridiculous seem real.

He, for better or worse, lingered in your thoughts long after he’d left.

She watched him bend and take off his shoes and socks, the ridges of his body sinuous as they shifted smoothly beneath skin. She held her breath when his hands reached for his belt.

He hesitated.

Glancing up at her, he met her gaze. As if gauging her reaction. As if assuring her approval.

She definitely approved.

Her pulse spiked. Her skin felt hot. She fisted her hands at her sides, itching to touch. She bit at her lips, aching to taste. She met his questioning gaze and nodded. “Show me.”

He slowly unbuckled his belt before pulling it free from his slacks. But Max couldn’t see past the press of his cock against his straining fly. She swallowed hard.

She’d had her hand around him. Had felt him hot and hard in her grasp. But it’d been dark in that car. The quarters too tight.

She wanted to see him.

He carefully undid his pants and let the expertly woven cloth fall.

Max froze.

Tall.

Lean.

Nothing but the long swish of fine, fair hair, pulled back at the nape of his neck, covered him as it flowed down the sharp spine of his back.

He stood proud—almost defiant—with his cock jutting out from his body. Thick and hard, it made her mouth instantly water. Made her wonder at the taste and texture of him on her tongue.

“Play fair, Max.” His voice was as intent as his gaze. “I showed you mine, show me yours.”

Numb hands fumbled with the clasp behind her back, but the uncooperative things—her hands, the tricky hooks—stuck as she just stared, transfixed, at him.

He laughed, the sound rumbling through her, making her feel even more foolish while her body burned with it.

Coming to her, he stood close before wrapping her in his arms, covering her hands with his. “May I?” he asked, even as he grasped the clasp, unhooking it easily.

Her chest heaved when he slid the bra off her shoulders, baring her body. The silken cloth fluttered to the floor between them. He stared at her. His hands reached up to cup her, his palms a searing brand against her tightly drawn flesh. “I want to taste you.” He bent low to take her nipple into his mouth.

She allowed him one sweet suck, moaning and arching forward—it was too good not to, his lips and tongue and teeth a heated wish on her skin—before she pushed him back.

Setting her face into the stern lines she reserved for misbehaving subordinates, she stared at him. He really needed to remember who was running this show. She pointed to the chair again. “Sit.”

“Is that a request?” he said as he sat, his face fierce and challenging. “I believe that counts as a favor.” A look of victory lit his face. “Take off the skirt.”

Max fought a smile.

She supposed one devious turn deserved another.

So, obliging her finicky rule-follower, she shrugged and reached for the hidden zipper that ran reversed along the full-length of her skirt, starting just above her knee and racing up to her waist. She saw his hand clutch at the chair’s arms as the parting cloth bared more and more of her leg. Knee. Thigh. Hip. Before the skirt fell away, a done-away curtain that revealed the small, thin triangle of sapphire silk hugging her mound.

If she hadn’t loved Hallie before, she adored the woman for the erotic ache painted plain on his face while he took in the sight of her. On his whole body, she observed, seeing pre-come glisten at the head of his dick.

Max licked her lips before stalking toward him. Trailing her fingers along the edge of the table beside him, she stared at its wares. Plucking her choice—a small, flat, pink vibe—from the very full surface, she snickered somewhere between a giggle and a growl. “My third request,” she said as she sunk to her knees between his spread thighs, letting that sly sound purr, “don’t move.”

Flipping on the vibe, she lay it on her tongue, letting her mouth get used to the buzz. She raked her fingers along his bare, hairless thigh. She’d never been with a man who shaved his entire body before. Knowing this one, he probably had himself waxed, never settling for half-assed. His skin was sleek and silken, the golden flesh feeling like pure luxury.

She felt him shift and stiffen beneath her touch. Max had the feeling that while this man liked very much to look and touch and take, very few were ever allowed to return the favor. Each halted hiss and gurgled groan that trembled behind his gritted teeth told her he was terribly unaccustomed to being touched.

She made a mental note to teach him.

And, with that mission in mind, she pressed an open-mouth kiss to the top of his thigh, right at the groove beneath his hip bone, letting the vibrations tease the sensitive flesh. The chair rocked as his hips steeled against a violent jerk. She patted his leg and trailed her lips down one thigh only to switch and traverse up the other.

By the time she stopped, lingering just below his navel, a breath away from the head of his penis, his entire body was shaking with restraint. Every joint locked. Every muscle flexed so hard he had to have hurt with the effort.

Poor man.

Deciding to be kind—sort of—she pushed the small vibe to the side of her mouth and flicked her tongue over his glistening tip. He moaned. His neck tensed and stretched, pressing his head against the hard back of the chair. “Damn.” His heels pushed into the hard floor.

Lightly, she let her tongue lave the hard column of his shaft. He tasted good. Clean. Salty. Smooth. It was like licking pure lust, his arousal electric and addictive.

Sliding the vibrator back into place, she took the whole of him in one slick slide, letting the pulsing toy press against him.

———

Fuck!

Her mouth was amazing.

“Max,” he grunted, “stop.” Though he hated—loathed and absolutely reviled—the idea of it, she had to stop. If she didn’t, he’d come. And he was pretty sure that coming counted as moving. And, damn it, he wasn’t giving up the chance to take her panties.

Slung over her garter-and-stockings set, only an all-too-easily discarded scrap of cloth was standing between him and his goal. From the moment he’d spotted the strip of condoms left on the corner of the toy-filled table, he’d known how this game would end.

They’d danced around this for far too long, he and Max. Come too close too often to pull back yet again. The next time he came, he would be buried deep inside the possessive pull of her pussy. Even if that meant giving up her mouth’s tantalizing temptation.

“Max,” he begged when she pressed the toy and her tongue against the sensitive spot just under the head of his cock. “Max, stop.” Now. She had to stop now.

Pressing against the base of his sex, she gave his dick one last, lingering drag before she mercifully let the vibe slide out of her mouth and into her hand. Shutting it off and laying it back on the table, she turned to him cockily. “You look about ready for my third request.”

Hoping—almost sure—he knew what that favor would be, he said, “Me first.” Nodding to the thong that was threatening his sanity, he just snarled, “Off.”

She laughed at him.

While maybe—maybe—later, after he’d sated himself on her for a few hours, he’d find the humor in this, right now that amused sound bubbling from her was distracting her and slowing her down.

“Off,” he repeated the command at her. “Now.”

And, though she continued to snigger at his expense, she began to strip off the thong, which was all he cared about at that moment. Left only in opaque stockings held up by thin, black garters and her vest that framed her weighty, ample breasts, she was a sensual feast.

Panties still in hand, she straddled his lap, her slick heat hovering over his ever-so patient prick. The rich, decadent scent of her filled his senses, making his head swim. Yes, finally!

“My fourth request,” she murmured as she leaned in close, grabbing his hands and placing them at her hips, “don’t let go.”

She reached for the row of condoms and tore one free. He could practically feel that tear as the rip raked over raw nerves. He clenched his jaw and dug his fingers into her flesh as her hands slipped the latex over him, digging deep within himself to find whatever shreds of control she’d left him.

When she finished, he leaned close to lay his head on her shoulder. His cheeks flushed with angry, aroused shame. In an apologetic voice, he whispered, “I won’t last long like this.” He’d wanted to make love to her for hours. Wanted to taste and touch every inch of her.

At that moment, he’d be lucky to last more than minutes.

With a smacking kiss to his cheek, she shrugged. “Then I guess it’s good they left us a whole table full of toys, huh?” Se rubbed her wet cleft against his starved shaft. Shifting in his lap, she pressed a playful kiss to his pouting mouth. “When we’re done, wanna pick three of your favorites and I’ll pick three of mine?”

He laughed despite himself.

God, she was too good. He wasn’t sure what he’d done to deserve her—was pretty certain he hadn’t—but he was grateful. While he’d always had high hopes for her, Max Wells had turned out to be far more than he’d ever imagined.

———

Knowing this was going to be a fast, rough ride, Max lifted her hips before lowering herself onto his hard length. God, the feel of him when he pushed into her was damned near perfect, like the answer to a question she’d been asking since the day they met. The fit of him inside her was shattering, the stretch of it almost too much for her overly teased body to take.

Gripping her waist with a desperation she wouldn’t have thought him capable of, she heard him murmur almost mindlessly, “Move.” His rangy arms lifted her considerable weight up and back down, forcing his demand. “Max,” his melodic voice pled, “move with me.”

So she did, riding him with a ferocity that matched the hold he had on her hips.

“I’m close,” he said while his hips pumped in time to hers. “I’m close.”

She nodded, feeling his need to release race past her own.

“Touch yourself,” he ordered, slowing his rhythm.

She shook her head, even as she kept up her own speed. It was okay. She didn’t have to come this time. At least with him, she knew, he’d more than make up for it later. “It’s okay.” Intent on her goal, she rode him toward his finish.

He shook his head. “Touch yourself.” His streamlined arms, much stronger than they looked, controlled her thrusts. “You say I can’t touch you, so you’ll do it. We’re not stopping until you come.”

She’d forgotten how strong he could be. The sheer force of torrential will he could command.

It shouldn’t have, but it thrilled her.

So she grabbed the small, tongue vibe from the table again and reached between her legs. Switching it on, she pressed it against the sweet nub that peeked between the slick lips that hugged him. Her fingers brushed his needy cock as she toyed with her own slippery pussy, feeling the bullet’s buzz spur her.

He held her like that while she played with herself, watching her fingers work furiously. She looked down too, the sight of them connected while her arousal flowed between them exciting her more.

As her body began to spasm in sweet sensation, he hummed low in his throat and began to thrust her onto him again, impaling her deep and fast.

“Come for me.” His glass-hard, glacial eyes were alive with a scorching fire. “C’mon, Max,” he said with a final stroke, “come.”

She hit the bullet’s highest setting and let it soar her over the edge. One hand reached out to grab his shoulder, her nails biting into his skin like knives. She screamed.

They held each other fiercely while waves of tidal sensation crashed between them. Entwined, they drowned in the carnal cling, ecstasy roiling through them.

When finally they came back up, their breath panting and their bodies drenched with sweat, Max slid off him and slunk to the floor at his feet.

Distantly, she could hear cheers on the other side of the glass. With mocking menace, she flipped off the mirrored glass, succeeding only in making the yowling louder.

She turned into his knee, kissing the damp flesh. He tangled his hand in her now very mussed hair. “We’re just never going to have a normal date, are we?” she asked, exhausted and exasperated.

He paused, thinking about it before he removed the condom carefully. “Probably not,” he conceded before sliding down off the chair to embrace her on the floor. “Not most people’s normal anyway.” He kissed her temple sweetly. “Do you really want to?”

She shrugged. “Suppose not.” She turned her head to look at her lawyer, taking the strong sweep of his cheek in her hand. She pulled him down for a kiss, the taste of him consuming, a cataclysmic comfort that shouldn’t make sense but somehow did. This felt plenty normal to her. And that, more than what anyone outside this club—outside this room, outside this embrace—thought, was what mattered.

 

THE END

 

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