Thursday, February 13, 2014

Being Kinky Isn't Creepy



You know, I saw this on hell-is-okcupid's tumblr. And--sigh--I kinda hate that messages like this are tagged as #OKCreepy. It’s actually not a bad message; I’ve received far creepier, far skeevily graphic, and far more unacceptable messages requesting pretty much the same thing. He’s actually polite and has at least a basic grasp of grammar; he really doesn’t deserve to be denigrated or looked down on. His biggest mistake was demographics and that’s a pretty common mistake.

The standard reply to a message like this shouldn’t be to shame this person, but just to give them a few game-pointers. The first being: Location, Location, Location; it’s not just for real estate anymore.

The standard uninterested-vanilla response back should be: “Try searching on FetLife.com. If I were looking for someone to be kinky with, that’s where I’d be. You’ll have much better chance of finding what you’re looking for there. Best of luck on your search!”

Being kinky isn’t a crime.

It doesn’t make a person instantly creepy.

Can we please stop treating it like it does?

In the same way you wouldn’t shame someone who was into a sport you weren’t into or a movie you may not have liked, kink may not be what you’re into and that’s okay, but you don’t get the right to act like it’s not okay that they are into it.

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